Sex Questions on Second Life Forums (SLF)

It's just not the right place.

Aleesha Snow said...

"I'm looking into making a foray into the world of SL sex. Before I get involved, I have been noticing that there are so many options as far as body parts, HUDs, and many other things. Some things are stand alone, others need compatible items to work properly. It is all so confusing. I decided to search for information online. Unfortunately, after several hours, was unable to locate anything on the web that wasn't a number of years old and, apparently, no longer pertinent. I'm not sure I am in the right place to even ask this question. Can someone point me to a place where I can get up to date and accurate information on all of this?  Thank You  A~"

Aleesha Snow also said...

"Thanks Ariel, and thanks to all who replied. I really appreciate it. Reading all of your responses have helped but I think Ariel hit the nail on the head. There is just so much that it is hard to ask specific questions. The "genital Attachment" question was one for instance. I personally don't need one and sex for me is more cerebral than visual, yet I didn't know if guys would look at me as cheap or less desirable if I didn't have one. It is things like that. Its good to know that the older information can be relied upon today. I will look at it with a different eye. Guess I need to find my online mentor. Thank you all A~"

I said...

"Excellent questions.  I hope you think of more specific questions and get more and varied answers.  I will be interested to see them myself.

My sexual experience in Second Life leads me to believe that a nice skin and shape is all you really need.  Maybe a couple of non-n00b outfits, which are easy enough to get for free if you join designer merchant groups or follow tips from SL fashion blogs.

I'm a female both in SL and RL.  I was led to purchase prim genitalia my first week in SL.  I bought it, fussed about with it, abandoned it and never looked back.  No one has mentioned it since.  I don't miss it and neither do my sexual partners.  I think it is largely unnecessary.  People who purchase them and enjoy them can give you another point of view, but I guarantee you it is a "nice to have" luxury, if anything, and not a "need to have" necessity.

Beyond that I think it depends on your specific fetish or favorite flavor.  I'm loathe to go into further details here because I am keenly aware that the Second Life forums are PG and strictly moderated.  I would highly recommend that if you want an open discussion about sex in Second Life where you can get full and varied answers, that you take your question to one or more of the third-party SL-theme forums like SLUniverse (SLU), Second Citizen (SC MKII) or gotVirtual (gV).  There is a link to some of the third-party forums on the Second Life Wiki (http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/Discussion_forums#Third-party_forums).  Again, I highly recommend you check out an independent forum for a frank discussion of adult topics like sex in Second Life.

Lastly, I will tell you it is IMPOSSIBLE not to have sex as a female in Second Life, hell, even the guys can get laid.  I really don't know of anyone who can't get cyberlaid somehow someway in Second Life.  Sex is easily obtained.  The question is... what kind.  And that depends on more than prim genitalia.

 Anyway...  good luck to you and I hope you have lots and lots of naughty fun.  "

Links:
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/Finding-Current-Info-on-SL-Sex/td-p/1081169/page/3

This Man's Questions (Storm...and Perrie... Asks)

Storm Clarence said:

"Is the political correctness in today's world suppressing the heterosexual relationship? Is political correctness and feminism attempting to stifle heterosexual men? Is the display of a heterosexual relationship on the cusp of extinction? Does the heterosexual man need to 'hide' his sexuality - his identity when he is in the presence of non-heteros?
What is the view of the heterosexual man who posts in a LBGTI forum? Do I, as a heterosexual man, have anything to offer? My sexuality is tied to the relationships I form. Aren't gay issues *relationship* issues, too? If not, what is specific to the gay man that is not specific to me - unless it's all only about the 'sexual activity,' and not the relationship itself?
Must I defend my sexuality? Must a gay man defend his sexuality? Why is one singled out over the other for a 'specific' forum? Who really cares if the relationship is MM, MF, or FF. Shouldn't it be about issues we face in relationships: treating one another with kindness, humor, reasoning, compassion, compromise; and discussing the issues that lead to unhealthy types of relationships, or how to build better relationships?"

Perrie Juran said:

"Sometimes it seems difficult and even frustrating at times to be a Vanilla Male. I meet girls who at least initially I like and think I would like to get to know better but then I read their profiles and feel like there is no way I could ever satisfy them. Yes, there really are girls out there who are into swinging from the chandeliers with bisexual furry skunks. And in public no less!!!!!
Is their really much room left for a simple Vanilla guy here?"

Lee says:

"Do I, as a heterosexual man, have anything to offer?"
Yes.  Come over here and make me an offer.  

"Is their really much room left for a simple Vanilla guy here?"

Where's "here"?  (the LGBTI-only forum? the Lifestyles & Relationship forum? Second Life? Real life?)

Yes, but it I admit I imagine it would be a little tough for a simple Vanilla guy in the fetish fantasyland of adult Second Life.  In the real world, and the parts of Second Life that most want to be like the real world, simple Vanilla guys become extremely appealing to many heterosexual women over 30.


Link:
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/This-Man-s-Questions/m-p/825001/message-uid/825001#U825001

Having said that...

Okay, I have sought revenge in my own way.  I've splurged on tickets and gone to the big concert the ex wanted to see.  I've cut my hair shorter than the ex liked.  I've cleaned the house, ordered take-out, controlled the remote, spread out in the bed, turned the air up or down and reclaimed my space.  I've gone clubbing with my girlfriends and flirted up a storm.  Best of all?  I've had a good time.

Hell Hath No Fury

I don't really do revenge or payback or what-have-you with regard to romantic or sexual relationships.  There are a number of reasons for this, not the least of which is that it prolongs the agony and creates a kind of mental tag in the brain.

I had a friend/roommate, back in my youth, who went through a truly terrible break-up with her boyfriend.  Many things happened, but eventually the man took a new woman to the restaurant my friend's sister (and fellow roommate) worked in as a waitress.  He flaunted the date, the sister called my friend and in a fit of vengeful rage, my friend drove to the restaurant, marched inside, confronted the man and his date, told the date the man had an STD, flounced out the door, slashed the man's tires and keyed his car or some such thing.  She then drove home and righteously marched herself back inside our apartment.  Doors slammed, music blared and so forth.  At this point I was at home and gingerly made inquiries and was told the full story.

I had the sense to realize that this was a "just listen" moment, so that's what I did.  I just listened and heard my friend out as she ranted and vented her considerable ire.  I had a lot of thoughts about what she was telling me, but few of them were appropriate to share and none of them would have cooled her fiery temper.  So, I just listened and nodded occasionally and kept my mental fingers crossed that this would be the end of it.

Several days later my friend told me, with some bewildered indignation, that she had told a couple of people at her workplace about the incident and that she and her story had not been greeted with enthusiastic and unequivocal support.  Again, I perceived this to be a "just listen" moment.  Eventually, she said, "you would have done the same."  That's when I decided the "just listen" moment was over.

"No, I would not have done the same and you know I would not have done the same.  Never in the years you have known me have you seen me do anything like what you did or anything to indicate that I would do anything like what you did.  It's not a choice I would make."

She was a little huffy, but she wanted to talk about it, so we did.  I told her that if a relationship is over and ends badly, I don't want to prolong it or cement it further in my head.  If the guy turns out to be a creep, then I want nothing, absolutely nothing, more to do with him.  Her body, tense with her anger, relaxed in a kind of defeat.  She confessed to me that her actions had been so violent and so vivid that she was reliving them in her dreams at night.

I think it takes strength, maturity, and a helluvalot of self-discipline not to lash out at someone at the bad end of a tempestuous or painful relationship, and frankly, the fact that it takes all that, reinforces my belief that not seeking revenge is the right thing to do.

One woman's opinion.

Advice for the Lovelorn (Stormy Weather)

"Do you have questions about love, relationships, or sex?" on http://community.secondlife.com.

SilverMadison said:

"Second Life Public Access TV is proud to announce "Ask Thea!" our brand new advice show!
If you have questions about relationships, love, or sex feel free to email Thea at AskTheaDee@gmail.com
Your question may be answered on air and in front of our live studio audience.

Ask Thea! will premiere this fall on Second Life Public Access TV and will star the beautiful and feisty TheaDee!"

squashy Beeswing said:

"Well, i want to know what her credentials are first."

Sigmund Leominster said:

"For those who want a more non-directive, non-personal approach, I have a Rogerian AI bot and a replica of Freud's couch in-world, which you are more than welcome to talk to. My bot doesn't judge you, doesn't pretend to have answers, and often gives some quirky and bizarre responses. Howver, there are times when flashes of brilliance shine through and you can sneak a tiny peek into your subconscious. Just IM me and I'll send you a LM to my Therapy Platform in th Sky."

Storm said:

"This.

This.

This."

squashy Beeswing said:

"Storm, you need your own 2 hour 'special' with all that you've got going on."

valerie Inshan said:

"LOL, Storm is famous 24 hours a day. Full time job."

Links:
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/Do-you-have-questions-about-love-relationships-or-sex/td-p/1033019
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Wanted/Do-you-want-your-own-Second-life-TV-show/m-p/1035575
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/General-Discussions/How-do-I-make-her-love-me/m-p/498508/highlight/true#M242727
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/This-Man-s-Questions/m-p/825001/message-uid/825001#U825001
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/General-Discussions/Confessions-and-apologies-of-a-serial-SL-heartbreaker/m-p/492885/highlight/true#M239184

An Object Lesson in Bad Break-Ups

Here:  http://ladysakai.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/gtfo/  &  http://ladysakai.wordpress.com/2011/08/13/gtfo-part2-now-blackmail/

Tools of Amusement

"Ha" is a laugh.  It can also be used to express a moment of triumph.
"Hah" is also a laugh or an expression of triumph.
"Ha, ha, ha" is laughter.
"Ah ha" is used for discovery and accusation.
"Hee" is a giggle.
"Tee-hee" is also a giggle and sometimes derisive and/or impish.
"Hee hee hee" is a lot of giggling.
"Heh" is a wicked and mischievous sound of amusement and possible mayhem.

Use them wisely.

Expanding Your Fantasy...1950 or 2011? Which Country?

Ceka Cianci said:

"i haven't really read all this thread..just a few of the posts...
i think the best way to find a man in SL is to not look for them..and when they find you and IM you act as innocent as you can..
let some things go over your head..especially if it is them trying to flirt early on...
do a few subject changes from the flirts like you never caught onto it..
let a few of them hit and respond with little giggles here and there..
basically just treat them like any other person IMing..and that sex and romance is the farthest thing from your mind..

it seems to work really well for me..because i don't really look for men in sl and i have a hard time figuring out when they are flirting with me..i talk alot about lots of things so i may change the subject 5 times before i am finished explaining something hehehehe(see that giggle i slid in there?) hehehe( whoops did it again hehehe) (Ceka stop giggling and finish)Aaaanyways..i giggle a lot and i basically treat everyone about the same..
sex and romance is really something that is the farthest thing from my mind..
i always giggle when i catch onto a flirt..
oh and always talk about interesting things..like the weather..they really like that a lot  "

 

Links:
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/What-s-wrong-with-men/m-p/990261#M4851
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/lol-ha-hee-heh-as-punctuation.html

Blog Content Reminder (Adult XXX)

Just a reminder to anyone who might wander over to this blog:  the content here is adult XXX and then some.  Not for the young, faint of heart or sexually conservative.  Proceed with caution.

More qualifiers here:  http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/thats-what-she-said.html

Are you really enjoying?

The bold opportunism of men amuses me.  No really.  I know this kind of behavior has the potential to annoy people, and rightly so, but it often makes me smile.

• Second Life
• Sex alt (mine)
• Hotel room on bed
• Having sex with a man
• Interrupted by IM from a second man

O & V Man (not the one on the bed) IMs me.


Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: omg, i wish to be him
Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: are you really enjoying now?




Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: well, you said, maybe one day
Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: why not today?


Hey.  Dude's a closer.  I can appreciate that.



Couple of notes:
1.  There are "private" rooms all over Second Life.  People still walk in, see that there is an intimate moment occurring between two avatars and plant themselves at the foot of the bed to watch.  If they had popcorn handy, I'm sure they'd munch it and drop crumbs on the bed.  And yes, sometimes, often even, they IM one or both of the people busy on the bed.
2.  People also cam in to watch.
3.  It's the internet.  Privacy is an illusion or a luxury... or something.
4.  Yes, it is extremely common to be interrupted by an IM from a man who is observing or has just observed you having sex, who knows you are busy, to try to cadge a lay or schedule an appointment for one...and they can be quite aggressive about it.
5.  Yes, men will employ a "yeah, but are you really into him, enjoying him, how much fun could he really be compared to me, etc." play to cockblock a guy and get the girl.  Happens in real life too.  You'll sometimes hear guys talking about gals in committed relationships (with a boyfriend) who aren't married who see those women as available and fair game.  "Hey, she's not married."