LeeHere Absent blogging about sexuality and gender issues in the real and virtual worlds.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Wannafuckers & Tissue (One-hour stands in virtual worlds)
There's a lot of joking and some less-than-joking flat-out complaining about the "wanna fuckers" in adult virtual world settings. Here's the thing: Some women just wanna fuck. But if you are gonna cut to the chase and get right to it, thenfucking get right to it...which means being prepared if a woman says 'yes'. You're in a sim called 'Fuck Me Hard Right Now' with your cock hanging out asking women if they wanna fuck. Is it really such a leap of logic to think you might want to a) have a place, or hell, even aposeballin mind, b) have your headset plugged in if you want voice, c) get your tissues or towels and d) do or get whatever else it is you think you need to get your rocks off in cybersexland? You wantmeto find a place to fuck? You want me to TP you? Didn'tyoujust inviteme? You want me to troubleshoot your audio problems? You want me to help you run through 40 animations on a bed before you figure out how it works and what you like? You want me to teach you Second Life? You want to tell me about your day, your life, your job, your chronic boredom? Now? Really? You want me to sit around and wait while you get a towel, get a tissue, get a beer, get some lube, blow your nose, take a piss, close the door, turn off the phone and whatever else it is you think you need to do before you start stroking? I'm a voice-verified female who actuallywantsto cyberfuck in a place where the common wisdom liberally puts the estimates near 80 on the percent of humans who are male-operating avatars in Second Life. Take a moment to let that sink in, because for my imagined reader, the unprepared wannafuckers, not the cyberworld savvy posters of this forum, that means I'm in the limited supply and high demand category. The hot bird in the hand when there are literally thousands of other wolves scratching at the door. Get your fucking act together man. And don't forget the tissues.
A lot of guys ask me if I want to show them around, which usually means one of two things: 1. I'm new and need to be shown the Second Life ropes and I want sex. 2. I just want sex.
Another one under the heading of preparation. Sometimes you appear fully rezzed and fabulous to yourself, but not to others. You might be a big, white particle cloud, or, if you put your clothes on and port out of your location too fast, you might appear naked when you think you are fully clothed. I suggest 1) waiting at least 10-15 seconds after you put your clothes on, or back on, before porting and 2) porting to somewhere populated and asking someone or someones around you if you have rezzed properly. People are usually pretty helpful in this regard and then you are all set for a night of cyber prowling, you Dapper Don and Godfather of Garments, you. p.s. You might find this helpful too. SL: Fogging, Ghosting, Clouding, Ruthing, Rebaking and Not Rezzing, Not Rendering, oh my
Suggestion for avoiding unwitting public nakedness: Do not take one item of clothing off - say, a shirt - before putting a new shirt on. Simply wear the new shirt and it will replace the old one fine. Doing it this way keeps your bare skin texture from getting into the 'queue', preventing the server from hanging up on it. I think I went for about a year in SL before I realized you could change clothing without taking anything off. Prior to that discovery, changing time was...interesting.
Pay attention to where you are teleporting your dates. Don't teleport them to a place they will only be booted out of after ten seconds and a autoresponse message telling them they are not welcome. Sort out membership issues and sim rules before you get so horny you can't think straight anymore.
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