Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge (DTVSL) & Stephanie Steamweaver

Stephanie Steamweaver wrote to remind me that I had failed to include her location in my list of places to have sex in Second Life.  She's right, of course, the Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge (DTVSL) is a place to have sex in Second Life and I did not and do not include it in my quick list of sex spots for new Residents.  I have been there to DTVSL. I have observed the facility with which people can hook up and have sex. I have had some good times there myself.

I don't think of the DTVSL when posting in response to new Residents asking about sex locations in Second Life, because the DTVSL serves a Second Life niche (and serves it well). I purposely choose newbie-friendly locations with the most people and the least limitations when posting lists of places to check out when seeking SLex.  That and motel or hotel or public free-for-all environments where new Residents can take someone to have sex.

The Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge (DTVSL) serves human avatars who voice in English. Second Life is so full of furry, metal, vegetable, mineral, pixel, animate, and inanimate avatar choices and people who choose a text-only communication philosophy in many different languages that I reserve niche places like the DTVSL for later conversations with people I've "probed" so that I know their interests and can reliably match them to places where they would be welcome and likely to find an enjoyable experience and partner.

Also, DTVSL is for Residents who are older than 30 days and it is members-only. It requires a one-time up-front fee ($L100) and the wearing of a group tag in order to enter the lounge.

You land at a fairly distant landing spot and have to walk through a mall to get to the lounge and then you find people and seating, not sex poseballs.  Sure, you can have sex, but again, when it comes to new Residents, I like to send them to places where within a short walk they are virtually assaulted by sex poseballs and wannafuckers so they can get it on.

Places like the DTVSL, to me, are...advanced.

Here's what Stephanie, the owner, says about her place:

A place where exhibitionists and voyeurs can play on voice and share their sexuality in a safe and fun environment. **bleep** hangout at the Lounge, where we talk about sex and VIPS, when the mood strikes them, perform sex LIVE on voice. My lounge is 24/7 has been around for over 2.5 years and we have a group over 5500 members. We are always busy.

Here's what the landmark says:

Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge ~ Candy Land, Dirty Talk VSL (32, 226, 23) - Adult
SL's 1st and Best Adult Voice Sex Lounge. A place where exhibitionists & voyeurs talk & fuck in public. We have hosts, games, orgies, swingers, roleplay, date auctions, webcam, bdsm, naughty photo contest, Fish Hunt, Byngo, No Devil, Reel Wild and Mall 
Here's what the DirtyTalkSecurityBot says:

DirtyTalkSecurityBot (dirtytalksecuritybot) has invited you to join a group. To join this group, you will have to pay a signup fee of L$100. Group: Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge: Welcum to Dirty Talk, SL's #1 voice sex lounge with a group of over 5000 members. A place where exhibitionists and voyeurs can play on voice and share their sexuality in a safe and fun environment. ™ Members Only Lounge Human Adult Only Lounge You must be over 30 days old $100L Group Fee ($0.41 US) Cum hangout at the Lounge, where we talk about sex and VIPS perform sex LIVE on voice. Dirty Talk VSL (23,234,23) ** NO SPAMMING OR ESCORTING **

From the notecard:

We have plenty to offer on the sim.
~ Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge
~ Dirty Candyland (Non sexual area) with Byngo, No Devil and games
~ Fish Hunt 
~ Cabin Rentals
~ Fantastic mall with 50 stores.

Also there is the possibility of Elite Membership for an additional weekly fee ($L125):

Become a ELITE member at Dirty Talk. Join a Elite members only group and enjoy the following perks:
◈ Landmark to TP you directly into the Lounge.
◈ Landmark to TP you directly into Dirty Candyland
◈ Landmark to the ELITE HOUSE.  Make DT your home!!
◈ Landmark to a Members only PORN THEATRE on the sim
◈ Landmark to the monthly members only party spot.

Along with that, Your membership includes
◈ Group only Teleporters around the sim.
◈ Members Only Private Parties
◈ Strut your stuff around Dirty Talk with your "Dirty Talk Elite" tag or other fun tags available.

▶ How much does it cost?
The elite membership is $125L a week

▶ How do I become a member?
To join the group, find one of 2 Elite vendors on the sim (in the lounge and at the entrance of the sim). Pay the "Pay To Join" board and pay the number of weeks you would like.

So yeah, if you are a tenured Resident in a human avatar with $L100 who likes voice, being around people, chatting, and cybersex then I would definitely recommend a visit to the Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge (DTVSL).  It's often where the sexy adult voicers are and people do voice shows too.  Enjoy!




Landing point


Directions to the loung


Gateway - you must pay the fee, add the group tag, reduce your lag, suit up in human skin and shape, and get your mic and speakers up and running before you enter


Members only


About rules and reducing lag






Saturday, November 17, 2012

Where to Have Sex in Second Life

There are so many fantasies and fetishes being indulged in on the grid, that you really need to refine your search to find what you want.  Also, sims come and go all the time.  That said, this quick list will land you near a sexy poseball and pixel people.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

"A Proper News & Information Site for Serious Adult Play?"

This question was asked (in long form) in the Adult section of the official Second Life forum.

Are there blogs reviewing Second Life adult products and places?

I don't know yet if there is a one-stop niche shop, but I did ask the OP if she'd seen any of these sites:

Link to the original post:  http://community.secondlife.com/t5/General-Discussion/A-Proper-News-amp-Information-Site-for-Serious-Adult-Play/td-p/1480359

Related post link:  http://community.secondlife.com/t5/General-Discussion/Is-there-a-blogging-circle-I-can-add-my-blog-to/m-p/1324783


I think friendship comes naturally, some might say "organically."

I think a person telling other people that they have no friends as a way of obtaining friends is not a part of that natural process of friendship.

Some people may not be aware of that possible viewpoint, some may be aware of it, but lack the impulse control to prevent themselves from saying and using it anyway.  Some may be looking for someone just like them.  Maybe two people announcing that they have no friends have enough common ground to become friends.  I don't know.  That's outside my range of experience.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Virgin's Handbook on Virtual Relationships by Pamala Clift

Another amateur virtual sexologist.



Pamala Clift wrote:

 ...my research of these last 5 years in social media and virtual worlds as they relate to our individual interpersonal relationships... 
Pamala Clift wrote:

Love online is a taboo. Yet it is engaged in, enjoyed & mourned by millions in silence. So the book is to de-stigmatize the virtual communication that has now become a part of our modern technological society and locate the value and usefulness along with the proper level of skepticism to allow this medium to function for all that seek to connect. I so hope this helps!

The writing is a little rough.  She's seeking an editor, so there's that.  She's also seeking funds.  And offering virtual kisses.  Interesting resume.  Includes work as a professional clown.  And "Priestess of the Universe."

Your thoughts?

Thursday, November 3, 2011

That's What He Said: Some Tips For Straight Guys In the RLC

Posted by Kris in the "Sex, Dating and Relationships " section of the Utherverse forum.

Originally Posted by: Kris_157 Go to Quoted Post
Originally Posted by: Lee__ Go to Quoted Post
Originally Posted by: SirGoldKnight_DK Go to Quoted Post
You will find (5) Types of people to have sex with, the quality and quantity seem to differ with age and genter.
(1) The Quickie (2) Mate Hunting
(3) Sensual to Erotic (4) Let's Just Be Freinds (5) No Way Any Day
(1) The Quickie (18-around 24) Really quanity over quality ! Let's just do it and have fun, but i don't want to really know you. Bye Mostly inexperienced, learning. Love to chat,dance and have alot of fun Big on flirting & teasing.
(2) Mate Hunting (25 into late 30's) Prospecting for mate. spends more time tying to find out about you and the person you are. Lots and lots of queation.
Love foreplay. Mox of romance and sex, loveto cuddle. May turn into Erotic Lusty Sex.
(3)** Erotic Sex - Why so many Bi and Lez have great sex, and why most men are missing the boat ! Besides getting into each other mentally they add other pleasure to thier senses. (A Toy) both use a dildo or vibrator while they are having sex. So that wasy they add physical pleasure. Often leads to multiple times of having sex together, in the same session. Key is Both mental, visual and physical. Erotic sex often last more than 2 hours.
(4) Let's Just Be Friends? (40+) mature lady now want more romance and less sex, no all but most. Men get either confused or frustrated at the stage. And start looking around, not for a relationship but sex (period). The main reason I believe for very high divorse rates and seperations. men land up with young women, because of a sexual need then with emotions get deeper into a realtionship with the younger woman.
(5)No Way, Any Day people affraid of sex because they got badly hurt, may be hard to ever have sex with if not impossible until they can find someone to trust or are willing to change. You push you loose Lots and lots of patience

Well now that we've defined our categories and terms, where are the tips?

I wouldn't be so sure that the OP didn't offer what is likely the best tip possible for this thread.

Under item 3 his mention of keys being both mental, visual and physical. How often have you been with a partner who just couldn't get your motor to hum, primarily because you couldn't get into the moment? (please don't answer as a gentleman should never ask, and a lady never tells)

The sort of encouragement to actually engage oneself into a scene is something that is lacking to a great number of people, explaining that it can lead to more and better sex in U3D may just be what gets some young upstarts to break out of the button mashing and into composing truly erotic prose. Someone who could likely turn one of his category 1's into 3's.

If I were to offer additional tips not related to age/demographics of the persons profile they would be to:

1) Be aware of your surroundings.
Are you in a club named Blacks on Blonds, are you white, you're probably going to end up failing A LOT!

Use the background of the club to your advantage, the ambiance, the music, the number of people in the room will all give details, ever so subtle, to who the person on the other side of the monitor is and what they are comfortable with.

2) Be imaginative.
We are all given the ability to craft the experience we are in, in ways the simple mechanics of any computer program is unable to.

So you're in a club, someone walks in and you've started to chat her up, if it's your style, ask her to a table, woo her. Be descriptive, don't be afraid to emote, let her know your avi is taking a sip of wine, let her know you're snubbing your cigarette out in the ashtray and pause for a moment watching the thin blue smoke waft in the nearly still air of the back of the club. Let her know about how the stage lights reflect off of her dress creating a stunning bluish green halo behind her reflecting off of the smoke.

Is it cheezy yeah, no doubt about it, but it shows that you have more to offer than "fucks you hard" in the middle an a romantic tryst.

3) Be honest.
I can't stress enough how important this one is.

If you're here for sex, let it be known rather soon that you're making a move and not wanting to wright her biography. In the real world, the use of hands on strangers is taboo, and likely to get police, assault/harassment charges, and or long stays with your new best friend Big Bubba. Here, about the worst that can happy is she IGGIES you and her and her friends laugh at how small your e-penis is. You roll your savings vs embarrassment and if you fail you reroll and hope that you get a higher CHA this round.

There is no need to spend 30 hrs over a week chatting someone up if you're only trying to get their panties off.

A benefit of this is, if she knows you're just looking for sex, then she won't mind if you don't spend that 30 hours over the next week looking at wedding gowns.

4) Have fun.
This is a game, a social game, with few rules, no end state, and no way to win or lose; but a game none the less.

If you're not logging in to have fun, you're doing it wrong.

Borrowed. Wink 


Sunday, September 18, 2011

Precise Advances

I'm always harping about good, clear communication and, in particular, effective use of the entire sex sales cycle.  It might serve Dominique Strauss-Kahn well in the future. This latest BBC News article says he has described his interaction with the New York hotel maid, Nafissatou Diallo, as "inappropriate" and "imprecise."
"An official close to the inquiry told Agence France-Presse that Mr Strauss-Kahn had denied attempted rape and assault but 'conceded that he had made advances to her, without being very precise about the nature of these advances'."
I say avoid the rape charges and forcing yourself on someone, but commit to your intentions and the communication of them.   It's you, a woman and a hotel room with a bed, it shouldn't be that difficult to express yourself without a major misunderstanding.  Although you might want to consider soliciting someone other than a woman who is paid to be in your hotel room for something other than sex.  We've got some pretty well-tested sexual harassment laws here in the U.S.  I'm tellin' ya, that's why the sourcing, probing and listening parts of the sex sales cycle should not be overlooked or rushed.  Warm leads on the same page.  Soooo much better for both parties.

And ladies, men forcing themselves on you is a crime.  Asking shouldn't be.

The word "sales" here is not meant to imply a monetary transaction, but rather, getting across and getting what you want in a consensual manner.
Asking once is communication.  Asking repetitively to the point of harassment, well, now it's a crime.  It's an important difference.


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Adult SubForum Idea for Second Life Forum (SLF)

Venus has been telling me about an idea that was floated to the Lindens about creating an Adult subforum on the official Second Life forum.  The end result, it appears, was for content creators, merchants and adult land owners only.

Venus Petrov said...
"Shortly after this Lithium forum was rolled out, a number of us advocated to have a place where adult discussions on sex in SL might be safe for discussion. The topic was touched on in at least three CTUG (Community Tools User Group meetings). Somewhere along the line the request got morphed in the implementation of the solution and what we ended up with was a 'by invitation only' forum for content creators of adult products in SL and owners of adult land. If one did not fit into either category, you were SOL. My short answer to your question above is 'It depends.' It depends on the question(s). Other than mechanics of and places to go, perhaps, most will probably focus on situational issues. I would like that these could still be raised in the Lifestyles subforum. And, some are."
"Actually, what you describe is what I had hoped could happen on the Adult forum we first advocated. There is a considerable economy in SL creating, marketing, selling, and supporting adult 'goods'. It does not seem logical to create a forum where only purveyors of adult-related items can share information. What about the consumer?!"
"That was the end of it at the time. LL had no way of being able to automatically add verified adults to the Adult forum. It required individuals who fell under at least one of the two categories I referenced earlier to ask Blondin to be added and he did so manually. Now that he is gone I do not know who manages that forum."



Dresden Ceriano said...
"If I remember correctly, the last time an adult sub-forum was discussed, it was in conjunction with the creation of a GLBT forum. It was decided that there would be no adult forum but there would be a GLBT forum, except only for adults. It was quickly pointed out that, not only was there no reason a GLBT sub-forum should have to be adult, but that having an adult forum for the GLBT community and not having one for everyone else just didn't seem right. So what we got instead was the "Identity and Relationships" forum that was open to all (which I later forced suggested Amanda change to "Lifestyles and Relationships", which is what have now). The adult forum idea was never brought up again, as far as I know. Perhaps, since some of the names have changed now, it might be time to, once again, bring it up. I mean, why not?... the worst they could do is say no again. ...Dres ETA: I forgot to mention the best part... no one ever even asked for the creation of a GLBT sub-forum. Sometime, during the discussion about creating an adult sub-forum, some misguided person suggested GLBT issues as a reason for creating one. Amanda took that as if we needed a GLBT forum and ran with it. So we ended up getting what we didn't ask for and not getting what we did... go figure."

Where do YOU think the best place to talk about sex in Second Life is and why?

I asked this question on the official Second Life Forum (SLF), SLUniverse (SLU) and gotVirtual (gV) this week and probably about a year or more ago on RLetc.

This is the question in more detail.

"Where are the best places (blogs, forums, websites, sims, etc.) to talk about sex in Second Life among adults with a frank and open discussion and information that is updated and kept current? Topics might include prim genitalia, etiquette, how-to for newbies, fetishes, paraphilias, NSFW & XXX content, sex sims, sex products, etc. And why? (Why is that the best place?) The question came up in the "Finding Current Info on SL Sex" thread on SLF and I thought it might be interesting to get comments and referrals and maybe collect them into a helpful resource list. Thank you in advance and apologies for dupes."

I say it came up in that thread, and it did, but the truth is, I've been looking for a forum in which to have conversations with topics like the ones in this blog for about two years.  It has turned out to be a slightly more complex question that I had first thought it would be.

Anyway, here are some of the answers I received.

I'll start with the helpful, direct link type answers.

  1. SLUniverse (SLU).  Multiple votes for this forum, some qualified.  There are restrictions on content and many people have complained about judgmental or joking responses, but you do have the advantage of a large group of tenured and knowledgeable Second Life residents who can answer many product and tech questions.
  2. The "Let's Make Sexy Time!" Social Group on SLUniverse.  Eighty-seven threads, current content, some sex and a lot of humor and poking and joking around.
  3. The "BDSM Interest group" Social Group on SLUniverse.  Three hundred seventy-four threads, current content, a lot of sex and helpful discussions about Second Life sex products and places.  More straight answers and acceptance and less joking and poking in this Social Group.  I would feel comfortable recommending this Social Group to people wanting a venue for discussing sex in Second Life.
  4. gotVirtual (gv).  Multiple qualified votes for this forum.
  5. The official Second Life forum (SLF).  Multiple votes with qualifiers.  This is the company's product forum, it includes teens and it is PG.  You can't use vulgar language like "fuck" and you cannot post nude or lewd pics.  You do have the advantage of a large group of tenured and knowledgeable Second Life residents who can answer many product and tech questions.  My observation has been that a person asking questions on SLF is likely to get inworld IMs offering help too.
  6. BDSM forum inworld sim.  Multiple votes for this place.
  7. Xcite!  Xcite! is a Second Life product site.  Good information specific to their product line.
  8. Between two consenting adults.  Multiple votes.
  9. A couple of people said they did not want to share what they had managed to learn on their own the hard way.
  10. This blog right here.

It was in the "BDSM Interest group" Social Group that I found this helpful stickied thread about the rules on SLU regarding adult content.

Cristiano said on SLU...
"A reminder about NSFW images and thread titles"
"If the image contains nudity or is otherwise sexually explicit, it must not be posted inline with IMG tags or attached to the post. You must link to the image. Courtesy would also be to warn that the image is NSFW. If you are uncertain if an image is NSFW, err on the side of caution and assume it is."
"Please also be conscious of the content of your thread titles. While users do have the ability to ignore forums, and the group forums are viewable only by registered users, there is no ability to filter out forums on iSpy and the titles do appear some other places as well. Thank you for your cooperation with this policy. I try to provide as open of an environment as possible and I have nothing against the images or topics personally, but I do have the needs of the entire forum community, advertisers, and the policies of my ISP to keep in mind."
Nimue Jewell said on SLU...
"Keep in mind, even though the topics are adult in those subforums, you are not allowed to post naked SL or RL pictures."

I nabbed a couple of the more in-depth comments.

Ishtara Rothschild said on SFL...
"Actually, I think that is forum is a great place to talk about sex. It might seem counter-intuitive considering LL's PG rule and the relatively high level of moderation, but I've found that when it comes to adult topics, only posts with very explicit language are getting moderated. Which can be a boon rather than a bane, because it helps keep the discussion on a civilized level. We have discussed even the most controversial topics here in the past, such as age play, BDSM (including edgeplay), or zoophilia. This doesn't seem to be possible over at SLU, where people who disagree with the vocal majority (which is surprisingly conservative when it comes to sex; SLU is a place where gays and liberal atheists rage against aberrant forms of sexuality in a way that would make a Baptist preacher jealous) are met with vigorous personal attacks and the most hateful and rude language. That's exactly the kind of thing that gets deleted here, and this forum is a better place for it imho. At SLU, everything seems to be about moral outrage. A member of the in crowd starts a finger pointing thread (bruised skins and "Rape me" tattoos, OMG, how can LL allow this!) and everyone joins in the bashfest. That is not a discussion, it's a lynch mob in a feverish circle j***. Those who dare to disagree are torn to pieces and will be bullied in all future threads no matter what they post. I'd rather participate in a forum where I can speak my mind as long as I'm willing to self-censor a bit and use medical schoolbook terms or romanticized language rather than colloquialisms."
Knowl Paine said on SLF...
"The best place is with your partner(s). Second Life can be a journey, a path for discovery. I prefer to choose my own adventure. Sexual sophistication, is far from first on my list of ideal characteristics and traits of a desirable partner. The second best place to discuss functionality of a product or attachment is with the Creator or seller of the product. The Resident who made it, probably knows how the item works. A Group for helping Residents in the Region Kuula, has a public Show-n-Tell event, the content must be General maturity rating but a format like that for sex in SL would be beneficial."
squashy Beeswing said on SLF...
"You could dish out notecards periodically with how-to guides and best practice. :matte-motes-delicious:"

Orfeu said on gV...
"I think of the forums, gv is prolly the best fit. We do have a slight habit of constant de-rails....rather than substantive discussion here...but one can hope. Other than that....your "Thats what she said" blog, also seems to fit the bill admirably."

Saffy Pants said on gV...
"I am not sure any of them are any use for talking about SL sex. The ones that allow it are populated by people who aren't interested and the ones populated by people who are interested don't allow it. The official forum is obviously the place because it has loads of newbies who would love some sex education but as you say it would be like sex education in school with the real stuff censored out. I did my share of sex in my early SL days but I never really found anyone who could understand the kind of atmosphere I needed to create. I havent tried anything for a long time but poseballs and devices did nothing for me with the exception of Devotion and I got worn out having to do all the talking."

Additional information.

  1. Some pretty damn frank conversations about sex can be had in the Utherverse forums, but it is a company product site, so it's not really the right place for conversations that include Second Life or other virtual worlds.  Also, the Springerville and troll quotients are very high in that place.
  2. There is a Gorean Forum specific to Second Life and it is active and current.
  3. KingGoon Forums.
  4. The Alphaville Herald has a 'Sex, Cybersex and Beyond' section
  5. 2nd Sex.  It's a blog by Lillie Yifu.  Described as follows: "A blog on sex and virtual worlds by a virtual escort." Current content.  Not as much sex as you might think given the description and blog title.
  6. The Sleaze King of Second Life.  A blog by Hard Rust, the creator of Hard Alley in Second Life.
  7. Second Life porn star blogs.  Definitely adult content.
    1. Emmanuelle Jameson's Second Life.  A blog by the avatar formerly known as "Jennnnna Jameson."  Lots of sex.  Lots of erotic Second Life sex pics. 
    2. My Twisted Second Life: Diary of A Naughty TGirl.  A blog by Ivori Faith.  Sex from the second you click through the mature-content warning.
    3. Serenity And Arwen PornStar Files.
    4. Quinn Ying in Second Life.