Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Orgasm Control

Many men in the virtual universe are into "orgasm control." Whether you interact with them via text, voice or cam, what they want is to tell you what to do, and more importantly, what not to do, as you masturbate yourself and they lead you to prolong the pay off for as long as possible, only allowing it at their eventual command. This particular kind of cybersex play frequently involves props, so you'll want to be prepared for that. Ice, candles, matches, dildos, vibrators, feathers and that kind of stuff. Of course, if you are texting, you can "roleplay" your actions, but know that the texting male is expecting that you are doing the actions in real life... and make your own ethical decisions about that.

Repost.  LeeHere Absent, Feb 21, 2011  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-9#post-25545

Yeah, it's not my thing either, but I tend to try (qualifying here) to attempt and experience everything at least once and orgasm control is a very real and very common practice. I meet a lot of men who want to pick up women in Second Life for that specific purpose. A lot.

It's another one of those things where purists will tell you orgasm control is best or only done within the framework of a long-term dynamic because you need to know the person whose orgasm you are controlling in order to affectionately and effectively play your partner like a virtuoso plays a Stradivarius. But it is also one of those things that has been adapted (bastardized?) for the drive-thru cybersex esthetic of the "Fuck Me Now" sims of virtual worlds.

Repost. LeeHere AbsentFeb 21, 2011   http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-9#post-25548

I meet enough men who are into either BDSM or orgasm control that those two are now on my informal mental top-ten expectation checklist. BDSM or orgasm control in the profile? I let them know that's not my cup of tea when they approach me. Request to go to voice or cam? I almost always check to see if it is for orgasm control before I agree and log into Skype.

Repost.  LeeHere Absent, Feb 21, 2011  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-9#post-25549

A male forum poster weighs in on orgasm control:

Don Mill:  I enjoy orgasm control, it is one of those things that I enjoy when cybering with an stable partner. From a Dominant point of view, it is one of the few things that we can use to show the control that has been given to us by our partner. That said, it is not for everyone, the "skill" itself requires a lot of knowledge about your partner and the dynamic of the relationship. It also has a learning curve, you need to understand when it is possible and when it becomes a turn off.
The best way to play with it is thru voice since it allows you to hear the level of excitement in your partner and that is the main input one needs to control climax. There are several ways to "learn" to use it, the one I prefer is to request that my partner tells me when she is ready to orgasm and then ask her to count... that will create a pause before the orgasm. With time the need to count moves from the one approaching orgasm to the one controlling it. It should be noted that there is the possibility of a lot of frustration in between. But experience has showed me that most orgasm after being denied for a time are stronger than when they are not controlled.
YMMV, of course.

Repost.  Bulldick!Feb 22, 2011   http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-9#post-25974 

I forgot to mention handheld mirrors as one of the props you might want to prepare yourself with if you want to play with people into orgasm control. Men into orgasm control will often ask you to look at your vagina in a handheld mirror.

So, ice, candles, matches, dildos, vibrators, feathers, handheld mirrors, tissues, towels, a beverage, perhaps a throat lozenge, headset, privacy...women need to be prepared too, ya know.

Reposted. LeeHere Absent, Feb 22, 2011  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-10#post-25989

If you have ever watched a movie like 9 1/2 Weeks or Wild Orchid or Secretary or even Dangerous Liaisons, then I think you get a fairly good feel for the esthetic behind a sexual flavor like orgasm control or, to some degree, BDSM. The heightened sexuality. The cat and mouse games. The woman as an instrument and the man as the musician. The woman giving herself over to a man, giving control to the man and thereby losing control, the underlying fear augmenting the arousal. The confusion, the anticipation, the surprises, the submission, the adrenaline of the free-falling trust. The power of holding someone's trust and sexuality in your hands and watching them react as you play them, touching, pushing, pulling back. It's heady stuff for a lot of people.
In 9 1/2 Weeks John Grey spontaneously plays with whatever's in the fridge during the popular food scene, but at other times he prepares, sending her a man's suit, hat and mustache or arranging to meet her in a hotel with lingerie and a prostitute. Different plays for different days.
I do think it is interesting, and worthy of another forum discussion, that movies like that, while fun in the beginning, tend to end badly.

Women: Imagine yourself, feeling a slight buzz from the wine you are drinking, wearing a thick, plush robe that has fallen away from your body and nothing more, draped languidly over an easy chair as a smooth-talking man with a deep voice tickles your ears with sensual words and talk of what you will do together this night. Your senses are heightened. You anticipate his instructions as you close your eyes and listen to the cadence of his breathing. The rest of the world has just slipped away and there is only you... and him. He tells you to trail your fingernails down the skin of your left arm and you feel the tiny hairs on your skin stand up and hum. He tells you to tickle your breasts with a feather and you let him know you long to cup and fondle your breasts, but he denies you this. You feel the ache of your own desires. He tells you to drip some of the hot wax from the candle onto your breasts and you hesitate. He firmly insists and you comply; you're putty in his hands. The transfer of power excites you. Submission leaves you to focus solely on your senses. There is no pressure, no thought, only what you feel. You feel the burn as the wax drips down the curve of your breast. The wax cools and he allows you to peel it off, then tells you to rub your red skin with an ice cube. He wants you to suck on the ice and then take more ice cubes and trail a path from the burn, down your stomach, over your belly button and down to the edge of your pussy lips. You feel the thrill of giving yourself over to another person, one who commands you with such confident authority. He tells you to gently touch your pussy, dipping your fingers in for just a moment. He tells you to put your fingers in your mouth and taste yourself. He tells you how beautiful you are and how much this moment means to him. His words wash over you like warm honey...

And so on and so forth. The man brings you to the edge of orgasm, denies you, brings you back, denies you and then takes you to a full, hopefully earth-shattering, orgasm.

Men: Reverse that process and imagine having that power, hearing the sounds of responses and reactions to your commands.

Both: Imagine that interplay occuring over an hour or more. Imagine seeing that other person again and knowing what you have between you.

Like I said, heady stuff for some people, but it's not for everyone.

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