Precise Advances

I'm always harping about good, clear communication and, in particular, effective use of the entire sex sales cycle.  It might serve Dominique Strauss-Kahn well in the future. This latest BBC News article says he has described his interaction with the New York hotel maid, Nafissatou Diallo, as "inappropriate" and "imprecise."

"An official close to the inquiry told Agence France-Presse that Mr Strauss-Kahn had denied attempted rape and assault but 'conceded that he had made advances to her, without being very precise about the nature of these advances'."

I say avoid the rape charges and forcing yourself on someone, but commit to your intentions and the communication of them.   It's you, a woman and a hotel room with a bed, it shouldn't be that difficult to express yourself without a major misunderstanding.  Although you might want to consider soliciting someone other than a woman who is paid to be in your hotel room for something other than sex.  We've got some pretty well-tested sexual harassment laws here in the U.S.  I'm tellin' ya, that's why the sourcing, probing and listening parts of the sex sales cycle should not be overlooked or rushed.  Warm leads on the same page.  Soooo much better for both parties.

And ladies, men forcing themselves on you is a crime.  Asking shouldn't be.


Notes:  
The word "sales" here is not meant to imply a monetary transaction, but rather, getting across and getting what you want in a consensual manner.
Asking once is communication.  Asking repetitively to the point of harassment, well, now it's a crime.  It's an important difference.


Links:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14963176
http://crimesagainstconvention.yuku.com/topic/22/That-s-What-She-Said

Are you really enjoying?

The bold opportunism of men amuses me.  No really.  I know this kind of behavior has the potential to annoy people, and rightly so, but it often makes me smile.

• Second Life
• Sex alt (mine)
• Hotel room on bed
• Having sex with a man
• Interrupted by IM from a second man

O & V Man (not the one on the bed) IMs me.


Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: omg, i wish to be him
Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: are you really enjoying now?




Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: well, you said, maybe one day
Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: why not today?


Hey.  Dude's a closer.  I can appreciate that.



Couple of notes:
1.  There are "private" rooms all over Second Life.  People still walk in, see that there is an intimate moment occurring between two avatars and plant themselves at the foot of the bed to watch.  If they had popcorn handy, I'm sure they'd munch it and drop crumbs on the bed.  And yes, sometimes, often even, they IM one or both of the people busy on the bed.
2.  People also cam in to watch.
3.  It's the internet.  Privacy is an illusion or a luxury... or something.
4.  Yes, it is extremely common to be interrupted by an IM from a man who is observing or has just observed you having sex, who knows you are busy, to try to cadge a lay or schedule an appointment for one...and they can be quite aggressive about it.
5.  Yes, men will employ a "yeah, but are you really into him, enjoying him, how much fun could he really be compared to me, etc." play to cockblock a guy and get the girl.  Happens in real life too.  You'll sometimes hear guys talking about gals in committed relationships (with a boyfriend) who aren't married who see those women as available and fair game.  "Hey, she's not married."

It's Not Me, It's You...

Was I being too subtle?  Sending mixed messages perhaps?

• Second Life
• Sex alt (mine)
• Rape (FSRP) sim
• RLV enabled
• Sitting in a chair

Guy activates the RLV, puts me on a poseball, rips off all my clothes and starts cyberfucking.

Guy initiates IM.


Guy: looks kinda sudden
Me: Says the man in control.
Guy: hehe
Guy: and what does the trapped girl like
Guy: forced sex?

(We're in a public forced sex sim and I'm wearing an RLV sitting next to poseballs that are all forced sex positions and acts.  But I suppose clarification and confirmation is good when you're talking about rape and ravishment fantasies.)

Me: You have me pinned down in a rape sim. I think it's about what you like.
Guy: i just came to see

(If I had $L for every time a guy said that to me...)

Guy: this sim
Me laughs.
Guy: reallyu not my type

(Alrighty then.  I'm all for cutting bait.)

Me: And now you've seen.

(I hop off the ball and get ready to TP out of there.)

Guy: yeah
Guy: really not my type

(I heard ya the first time.  I'm not your type.   I got it.  Sheesh.  I'm now back at my sandbox getting dressed.)

Guy: this sim i mean

(Oh suuuurrre.  Now you say that.)

And y'all wonder why I harp on and on about good, clear communication.



Links:
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/read-your-audience-play-to-room.html
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/wannafuckers-tissue-one-hour-stands-in.html

The Language of Love...Or SexyTime

Him: mmmm sexy
Him: sex baby?
Her: Hi, I'm with someone right now, but thanks for asking.
Him: ok : ( not very exciting is that it makes you
Him: come
Him: pourquoi tu te met hors ligne?
Him: on peut faire l'amour?

What's Real Life?

Him: hey sexy
Her: Hi. 
Him: you look so hot right now
Her: Thank you. 
Him: where are you from?
Her: Fantasyland. 
Him: and in rl?
Her: What's real life?

When "Wanna Fuck?" Works

I gotta give a guy props today.

Him (a couple of weeks ago): I gotta work on my skills. Not like the old hey, wanna fuck line works anymore. well, not on most anyway.
Me: It usually works pretty well on me. You know how I like to get to the point.
Him: Ya know, i think it actually has worked on you before. maybe i should try it the next time you log in.
Me: Maybe you should.

Him (today): hey you, wanna fuck?
Me: lol
Him: thought you would like that

And I did.


p.s.
He did all the heavy lifting after that. We agreed I owe him next time around.

p.p.s.
I wouldn't recommend that opener for everyone in all situations, of course.

Random TPs in Second Life Are a Fool's Game

A variation on the random TP invite with no preamble:

Guy 1: TP me to you.

Guy 2: Where are you? TP me to you. Send me a TP. Hello? C'mon.

A more polite version:

Guy 3: would u mind if tp to u? i'm alone now and u?

I'm curious to know how other people respond to that from people they don't know very well, if at all. I've been tempted to set up a spot somewhere with dishes and diapers where I can throw on a housecoat and curlers so I can say, "Well sure," and TP the guy right on over. I know it would entertain me.


I have some friends, who shall remain nameless, who used to fly into the sky and then TP such people into the clouds and watch them drop (best done from the balcony of a Zaby in the Utherverse or in a no-fly zone in SL where you can position yourself just right). There's no reason why this can't be fun.

Cut Bait

Male: Hi. How R U tonight?
Female: Good thank you. And you?
Male: Great. Actually I should be going to bed already
Male: it's 1:45 am here
Female: Well goodnight then. Female smiles.
Male: but i don't quite feel like it yet
Male: how about you? what are you looking for tonight?

Female answers.

Male: My kind a gal then
Male: my connection is really slow tonight,
Male: so, would you fancy a quickie?
Male: you know any good places here, i'm kind of a newcomer in this place
Female: I know lots of good places. What do you like?
Male: well, sex

Male starts poseball and position hopping, running through animations.

Male: This animation is really crap.
Female: My sense is that you are really pretty new at this and what you want is someone to help you get started and test the poseballs. I don't mean to be rude, I'm just being straight with you.
Male: Yep. No, you're not rude.
Female: Okay, then let's do this a little differently. I'll help you out and show you the basics just for educational purposes and to get you started, okay? I'm going to take you to a bed somewhere else. It will be easier. More possibilities in one place. I'm just going to do it for a few minutes to help you out. Understand?
Male: Yep. I'm all yours baby. Nice tits, btw. Nice ass too. You like my cock?
Female: Gee, thanks. It's great. Just focus on the menu and the positions and see what you like. You like these animations any better?
Male: Yes.
Female: This may give you have some idea of how this works so when you hook up with the next chick you can actually get straight to the sex with her.
Male: I've fucked a few already in SL.


Who's turned on? Show of hands...or posts? Anyone?

Who thinks the "Female" should have cut and run at "Well, goodnight then"? Or just shut up and fucked him if not cutting and running?

Repost.  LeeHere Absent, Mar 4, 2011  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-20#post-30853

More About Opening Lines

Add to the list of Joe Wannafucker opening lines:

1. Hi. (A natural, I know, but with some people, if I don't reply, the entire chat log looks like this: Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.)
2. Are you wet?
3. I am hard and/or horny.
4. u horney?
5. We can have some voice?
6. u luk sexxy
7. i need to release a load
8. Maybe I can do you next.
9. kisses (Would you be surprised to know how common that one is? Just "kisses" out of the blue and with no real follow-up?)
10. Did we already do the old chestnut of random TPs that come without preamble or warning and just keep coming over and over and over and over? Yeah, I think we did.


On the other hand:

1. Joe 2.0: What's your fantasy? What about horny young dudes with raging hard ons at their computer trying to find a slut to play with?
2. Adam: Good evening MIss Lee. Adam blushes down at the ground, hoping he has not been too forward. Lee: Interesting balls. The ones you're standing next to, that is. Adam: Adam looks down to make sure his zipper is up! *gulp* oh, those..yes MIss. (I thought Ishtara would like that "Adam.")
3. Serious Guy: Comprehensive profile. Very direct, plus clear on what you want. Exciting sexual imagery painted in words, text or voice. I'm interested..how many times do you achieve that goal?
4. Him: Hello there. Naughty thing, aren't you? Well I must ask, how you like to feel, like a whore or a princess? Me: Both. Woman's prerogative. Him: lol, men's nightmare. 
5. Understanding Guy: Now I don't tend to tell someone what to do, or really ask what you are doing rl, I figure you know your self better than I do.
6. Referred Guy: Hello, I'm a friend of Referring Guy. I think he thought I might amuse you.
7. Calling Card Guy: Sweetness, I would like the chance to play about with you some time. I have looked over your profile and I think between the two of us, we could come up with a wonderful scenario. May I offer you my card so we can plan some time together then?
8. Theatre Guy: Anything good playing at the theatre? Me: No, actually. Bit of a disappointment. Theatre Guy: I suppose if there's no entertainment on offer, you have to make your own.
9. Assumptive Opener: I think you'll like me. Just a hunch. And most girls usually do.


Repost. LeeHere Absent, Mar 4, 2011 http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-19#post-30794

Here's another line that has been used on me that you can recycle and try, but I really wouldn't like your chances with it because it didn't do much more than momentarily amuse me before laughing it off.

Him: Can you send me a TP? I am lost.




I've noticed a fair number of men in Second Life will give a gift, like a rose, as their opening line. A nice gesture, surely, and yet I'm not certain of how effective it is. Anyone have any thoughts on that?

It still leads me to the question I have about many simple openers, which is, "what are you going to do or say from there?" The rose gift can have the effect of putting you squarely in the dance-and-romance category, which is extremely popular with women in Second Life, thereby potentially making it an ideal mood-setting opener, but if you follow it with a "wannafuck" style line, it could be a bit jarring. And then, of course, I might refer you back to my post about the man who gave me a rose and then berated me for being a money and gift whore when I did not drop everything to come and service him so he could get some sleep. An extreme choice, I'll grant you, and not an effective one if his intent was to spend one second more interacting with me.


Repost.  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-25#post-33814


I thought this was kinda cute from a man with the same last name:

Him: So, are you my wife I didnt know about, or are we related some how....lol
Her: Same family apparently. Long lost cousins?
Him: lol, damn, I was hoping you were my vegas wife I didn't remember marrying

Speaking of which, I did meet a man in SL who suggested we meet and marry in RL in Vegas. I declined.

That's What He Said

Cody said:

I'm not averse to small talk, but I wouldn't start in with questions so generic I could be asking anybody in the room. I'd ask something pointed about the person I'm talking with. Names, group titles, clothing, etc make better ice breakers. If those don't work, I'd at least start with a little tasteful humor. 

Repost. Cody, Mar 3, 2011  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-15#post-30491 

Pep said:  

You asked about A/S/L?

My answers are Over four/Yes, but not with you/Second Life. The conversation ends there.

Many conversations I have go like this:

THEM: hiME: 'loTHEM: ???

 And again, the conversation ends there.

How do I hit on a woman? I'll see if I can find the thread in the Jive forums to which I contributed a little, but was started and mainly features LearJeff's take on cynical seduction at Sweetheart's or similar places, where usually the women are looking for romance and the men for a partner that'll give them rights to their property so the guy has somewhere private his alts can take their other pickups.

 Usually I'll just stand around until a brave soul compliments me on my profile, at which point I'll ask them exactly what it was about my profile they enjoyed, which can either lead to embarrassment, tongue-tiedness or an insight into their motivation for approaching me. I'll already have checked out *their* profile of course, and have some apparently "ad lib" comment to throw in, usually related to:

1. You're a n00b aren't you; can I help you with your profile while we dance?

2. You're trying to hide from/get over someone, aren't you; want to tell me about it while we dance?

3. You're a pleasure alt, aren't you; do I already know you and if so do you want to give me clues while we dance?
and so on.

 I tend to intimidate because I type fast which allows me to use an unusual vocabulary without having to rely on preprepared scripts. If they can cope with that, a beautiful friendship generally blooms.

 Pep (99% of encounters don't get to that stage of nirvana.)

 PS And then after about three months of attempting to change my attitude they get upset at the honesty of my meanness - or should that be meanness of my honesty - and decide they don't want anything more to do with me.

Repost. Pep, Mar 4, 2011   http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-16#post-30543 


Pep's Parenthetical Postscripts

Storm said:

My batting average is not very high in this area. I enjoy company and conversation, however, I seem to only attract techie girls. I like to compliment the woman I am with. I'll list some of the compliments I have used in the past:

- I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
- If I was an enzyme, I'd be helicase so I could unzip your genes.
- You overclock my processor.
- You have nicer legs than an Isosceles right triangle.
- You're so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract. 
- You know.. it's not the length of the vector that counts ... it's how you apply the force
- You're so gneiss I'll never take you for granite.

With compliments like the ones I offer it is no wonder that I fall into a barrel of boobs and get up sucking my thumb. 

Repost.  Storm, Mar 4, 2011  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-16#post-30557 

Dale said:

Not exactly a pick-up technique for me, since I'm just looking for interesting conversations and the occasional new friend, but I've had all sorts of interesting discussions start when I take someone's picture and inv them a copy. A tiny percentage of people are nervous at first ("uh oh, a stalker!") but when that happens I say that I do it to everyone, and that reassures them.  Most people are flattered, I think.

It's definitely much more effective in getting someone's interest if you comment on something in their profile (or on the emptiness of their profile if necessary!) or something they're wearing or whatever, rather than saying something generic.
I must hang out in classy places or something  because I hardly ever get to be amused by inept pickup lines. Back when I lived on PIER a newb boy did drop out of the sky and hang around my shack for awhile, and then claim that he didn't know how poseballs worked and could I show him with my bed. That was so amusingly blatant that I said Sure and set it on a "chatting" pose and told him now you sit on the blue ball...

And the instant we were both sitting he switched it to "doggie" or something. I immediately stood up and switched to my boy skin and shape; he was a bit nonplussed.  Weirdly, he said something like "show it to me", meaning my boy-parts, perhaps on the theory that since he'd been hitting on me I must not really be a boy, and therefore wouldn't have any boy parts to show. hahaha
He also came back a couple more times (when I was a girl again) and landed and said "dale sex please".

Boys are just funny...

Repost. Dale Innis, Mar 4, 2011 http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-16#post-30564

Dale Innis's Weblog

Women Can Be Asshats Too

And under the category of women can be asshats too...

I'm wandering through a new-to-me public sim. Just exploring on my own. Using my Lee account. Not bothering a little clump of people some meters away from me. Admiring the Moorish architecture. Around the corner and upstairs from this group of people who clearly know each other and are in the middle of a conversation I'm paying little attention to in Local Chat.

Then someone I have never met or spoken to in my life shouts...

JD shouts: leehere come here

It's a bit difficult in text, isn't it? Voice tone can make all the difference, or as Ishtara points out, descriptive text. So can your own mood and temperament. In this case, it immediately raised my hackles.

I told her I wasn't a dog.

At least she had a sense of humor.


kM: but ladies i am not spy from there
kM: lol
kM: i am new to both places
JD: ok kM
JD: and trust me u cant find better people then us
iA: lee there is new too
LeeHere Absent: Yep
iA: so we will welcome her in a while
JD: ohhh where did she come from
JD: kM u come whwen there are lots of peple u will love this laggy place
iA: u can h t copy and pasted for future refrance
JD: lol
iA: yes we do privide group chat for fast tps and chats
JD: and if u get lost plz start the group chat
JD shouts: leehere come here
LeeHere Absent: Wow.
LeeHere Absent: I'm a human, not a puppy. ;p
JD: for everythign else there is master card
LeeHere Absent: Priceless.

Repost.  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-16#post-30515

Some feedback from my friend, Orfeu Miles:

Some pertinent points.

Never tried to pick up a chick at Franks/Bogarts etc etc....but have had many charming dates there....not all of which ended carnally. Sometimes Romance is its own buzz...sometimes the overture is better than the opera. ( I would cite Fidelio by Beethoven which has 4 overtures all better than the opera)

I very rarely ask the ASL question....I dont expect an honest answer so why ask the question ?

The only exceptions to this, are cues given, that this is an important deal to the avi I am speaking to. Perhaps they have read my profile...and get that I am the kind, who doesn't have a big wall up between 1st and 2nd lives...and they wanna explore that perspective for a while.

If a Female Avi's profile is full of "Dont talk to me in phone-text ( I never do)...Have a presentable Avi ( I always have, from day5)...Do this...dont do that...do this a lot...NEVER do that...then...um....I have you pegged as a Female Rainman/Entitlement Princess. This is a thin line we are walking here, and Douche-baggery is not gender specific.

My own totally subjective ...non-researched conclusion...is that sl is FULL of people with mental-health problems...this stirs my compassion...but not my desire to wanna get to know you better. 

Oh and Lee...you definitely have a different perspective from Lillie...its almost as though you actually LIKE people....even...gasps...Male People.

Repost.  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-16#post-30539

Just Another Day In The Adult Section of Second Life

Another old story. I thought about it during the conversation today about this thread and Lillie's blog. I teleported to Sweethearts Jazz (PG sim) in my regular Lee-account avatar (not the sex alt) fully and appropriately dressed and may have done so after changing and porting too quickly, I'm not really sure. I got a random IM from some guy I'd never met or seen before.

This Guy: ummmmmmm
This Guy: nice naked ass : )
Lee: Thanks. I think you can thank a slow rez for that.
This Guy: muwah
This Guy: hello

He sends me a Friend Request.

Lee: What's on your mind, This Guy? Ass?
Lee: Anything else?
This Guy: anything u like hun
Lee: Thanks for the friendship invite, but it seems a little premature.
This Guy: smacks ur ass .......
Lee: Watch it buster.
This Guy: fuck u bitch

*Wishing I had a Linden for every time...*

Lee: LOL Wow. Niiiice.
Lee: What do you do for an encore?
This Guy: come here i wanna fuck ur mouth
Lee: Well, that answers THAT question.
Lee: What a smooth seductor you are. How can I possibly resist such an off..demand?
This Guy: u can ask as im fucking ut mouth
Lee: LOL
Lee: Give it your best shot hon.
This Guy: gonna send u a tp
Lee: I'm trembling with anticipation.
Lee: You catch many birds with this net?
This Guy: and wanna catch u too
Lee: Good luck.
Lee: I'm not sure you meet the height requirement for this ride.
This Guy: you are talking alot bitch
Lee: Having trouble keeping up?
This Guy: fuck
This Guy: ur
This Guy: mouth
Lee: lol
Lee: I'll spot you the rest of the letters in the alphabet if you think it will help.
This Guy: looks u have tasty pussy baby
Lee: Good lord. How old are you? lol
Lee: I can port to an adult sim and see if you can land there.
This Guy: huh?
Lee: lol
Lee: Want me to slow down and explain?
This Guy: i want u go down to my hard cock
Lee: I'm sure you do.

And so on.

Yes, I know a conversation like that is going on in Second Life right now as I type this.
Yes, I know I prolonged that conversation.
Yes, I know I'm evil.


Repost. LeeHere Absent, Mar 3, 2011 http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-15#post-30494



Some more samples.


Da Man: Excuse me girl. Didn't mean to land on you.
Da Man: Although now that I see you, maybe landing on you wou;dnt be that bad an idea.
Da Man: Thought I saw you go up here
Da Man: Let's talk in IM, baby.
Da Man: Turn around for me.
Da Man: Show me what you got.
Da Man: Yeah, you'll do
Da Man: Get on your knees
Da Man grabs your arm, draigging you over, shoving you to the floor
Da Man: Show me you know how to work a cock
Da Man: Strip too. I want to see you naked
Da Man: Take your fucking clothes off, bitch
Da Man: Worship that cock like all little...


A Man: hi
A Man: i like your profile
A Man: come and dance with me
A Man: i am old and dirty like you are
A Man: You learned how to fuck an old man?
A Man: first of all, i want to smell your underwea4r
A Man: you wil be my dirty slet in future?
A Man: i am a rude man
A Man: sorry


Now in all fairness, sometimes that's ^^^ unsolicited bullshit from developmentally disabled dolts and sometimes that's accepted, encouraged, appreciated and appropriate behavior. Depends on where you are and what you want and what you've put out there yourself.

Perhaps one of the questions it raises is the possibility of complicity or responsibility on the part of the women who do encourage that kind of behavior through their acceptance of it.

Hey, to each his or her own fantasy.

Whatever floats your boat.


Repost.  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-16#post-30511




I actually get that kind of "conversation" a lot when I'm in Second Life on my sex-alt account, but then that's often, but not always, a product of where I go. Sometimes it's a product of who else is in Second Life and how they think they can use it.


Repost.  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-16#post-30508




Btw, on the subject of me having more than one account in Second Life: Got Game?