Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge (DTVSL) & Stephanie Steamweaver

Stephanie Steamweaver wrote to remind me that I had failed to include her location in my list of places to have sex in Second Life.  She's right, of course, the Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge (DTVSL) is a place to have sex in Second Life and I did not and do not include it in my quick list of sex spots for new Residents.  I have been there to DTVSL. I have observed the facility with which people can hook up and have sex. I have had some good times there myself.

I don't think of the DTVSL when posting in response to new Residents asking about sex locations in Second Life, because the DTVSL serves a Second Life niche (and serves it well). I purposely choose newbie-friendly locations with the most people and the least limitations when posting lists of places to check out when seeking SLex.  That and motel or hotel or public free-for-all environments where new Residents can take someone to have sex.

The Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge (DTVSL) serves human avatars who voice in English. Second Life is so full of furry, metal, vegetable, mineral, pixel, animate, and inanimate avatar choices and people who choose a text-only communication philosophy in many different languages that I reserve niche places like the DTVSL for later conversations with people I've "probed" so that I know their interests and can reliably match them to places where they would be welcome and likely to find an enjoyable experience and partner.

Also, DTVSL is for Residents who are older than 30 days and it is members-only. It requires a one-time up-front fee ($L100) and the wearing of a group tag in order to enter the lounge.

You land at a fairly distant landing spot and have to walk through a mall to get to the lounge and then you find people and seating, not sex poseballs.  Sure, you can have sex, but again, when it comes to new Residents, I like to send them to places where within a short walk they are virtually assaulted by sex poseballs and wannafuckers so they can get it on.

Places like the DTVSL, to me, are...advanced.

Here's what Stephanie, the owner, says about her place:

A place where exhibitionists and voyeurs can play on voice and share their sexuality in a safe and fun environment. **bleep** hangout at the Lounge, where we talk about sex and VIPS, when the mood strikes them, perform sex LIVE on voice. My lounge is 24/7 has been around for over 2.5 years and we have a group over 5500 members. We are always busy.

Here's what the landmark says:

Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge ~ Candy Land, Dirty Talk VSL (32, 226, 23) - Adult

SL's 1st and Best Adult Voice Sex Lounge. A place where exhibitionists & voyeurs talk & fuck in public. We have hosts, games, orgies, swingers, roleplay, date auctions, webcam, bdsm, naughty photo contest, Fish Hunt, Byngo, No Devil, Reel Wild and Mall 

Here's what the DirtyTalkSecurityBot says:

DirtyTalkSecurityBot (dirtytalksecuritybot) has invited you to join a group. To join this group, you will have to pay a signup fee of L$100. Group: Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge: Welcum to Dirty Talk, SL's #1 voice sex lounge with a group of over 5000 members. A place where exhibitionists and voyeurs can play on voice and share their sexuality in a safe and fun environment. ™ Members Only Lounge Human Adult Only Lounge You must be over 30 days old $100L Group Fee ($0.41 US) Cum hangout at the Lounge, where we talk about sex and VIPS perform sex LIVE on voice. Dirty Talk VSL (23,234,23) ** NO SPAMMING OR ESCORTING **

From the notecard:

We have plenty to offer on the sim.

~ Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge

~ Dirty Candyland (Non sexual area) with Byngo, No Devil and games

~ Fish Hunt 

~ Cabin Rentals

~ Fantastic mall with 50 stores.

Also there is the possibility of Elite Membership for an additional weekly fee ($L125):

Become a ELITE member at Dirty Talk. Join a Elite members only group and enjoy the following perks:

◈ Landmark to TP you directly into the Lounge.

◈ Landmark to TP you directly into Dirty Candyland

◈ Landmark to the ELITE HOUSE.  Make DT your home!!

◈ Landmark to a Members only PORN THEATRE on the sim

◈ Landmark to the monthly members only party spot.

Along with that, Your membership includes

◈ Group only Teleporters around the sim.

◈ Members Only Private Parties

◈ Strut your stuff around Dirty Talk with your "Dirty Talk Elite" tag or other fun tags available.

▶ How much does it cost?

The elite membership is $125L a week

▶ How do I become a member?

To join the group, find one of 2 Elite vendors on the sim (in the lounge and at the entrance of the sim). Pay the "Pay To Join" board and pay the number of weeks you would like.

So yeah, if you are a tenured Resident in a human avatar with $L100 who likes voice, being around people, chatting, and cybersex then I would definitely recommend a visit to the Dirty Talk Voice Sex Lounge (DTVSL).  It's often where the sexy adult voicers are and people do voice shows too.  Enjoy!


Links:
http://slurl.com/secondlife//Dirty%20Talk%20VSL/23/234/23
https://my.secondlife.com/groups/6dc32cf4-2ed0-544b-abd1-16cb31afdc2b
https://my.secondlife.com/stephanie.steamweaver
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/General-Discussion/Which-is-the-best-place-for-sex/td-p/1736733/page/3
http://treet.tv/people/paisleybeebe/blog/20100923/dirty-talk-sex-world-premier-dexters-cross-reality-music-vid-littl
http://slescapesandvirtualtravels.wordpress.com/2011/04/29/dirty-talk-voice-sex-lounge-escort-lounge/
http://tonightlivewithpaisleybeebe.com/?s=Dirty+Talk
http://www.metaverse-business.com/sna3.php?grp=286806

Pics:



Landing point



Directions to the loung



Gateway - you must pay the fee, add the group tag, reduce your lag, suit up in human skin and shape, and get your mic and speakers up and running before you enter



Members only



About rules and reducing lag

Where to Have Sex in Second Life

There are so many fantasies and fetishes being indulged in on the grid, that you really need to refine your search to find what you want.  Also, sims come and go all the time.  That said, this quick list will land you near a sexy poseball and pixel people.

• Bukkake Bliss:  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Bukkake%20Bliss%20Island/182/146/701
• The Keyhole Club Motel:  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Orburs/121/168/60
• After Hours Loving Motel:  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Aulen/214/173/73
• Fuck Hall: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Coquine/200/160/31
• Lost Eden: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Fredrix/97/29/351
• Skinny Dip Inn & Nude Beach:  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Skinny%20Dip%20Inn/116/205/21
• The G-Spot Adult Hangout  & Sex Club Resort:  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Macando/216/97/22
• Teqi's Lounge alias Queens Teqi & Zeo's Orgasmic CumPalace:  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Frodes/46/196/300
• The Crown Pub, London City3, Victoria: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/London%20City3/214/214/23
• Neva Naughty Dirty Dive:  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Neva%20Naughty/139/154/751

Which is the best place for sex?  http://community.secondlife.com/t5/General-Discussion/Which-is-the-best-place-for-sex/m-p/1737239#M2882

"A Proper News & Information Site for Serious Adult Play?"

This question was asked (in long form) in the Adult section of the official Second Life forum.

Are there blogs reviewing Second Life adult products and places?

I don't know yet if there is a one-stop niche shop, but I did ask the OP if she'd seen any of these sites:

http://jennnnnajameson.blogspot.com

http://acesonsl.blogspot.com

http://pixierainsl.blogspot.com

http://colleencriss.wordpress.com/

http://satiateddesires.wordpress.com/

http://issuu.com/scruplz

http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/bdsm-interest-group/

http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/lets-make-sexy-time/

http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/new-product-listings/

http://bondageplaygroundreleased.blogspot.com

http://goreanforums.net/

http://www.getxcite.com/

http://alphavilleherald.com/

http://alphavilleherald.com/news/sex-cybersex-and-beyond

http://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/

http://hardrust.blogspot.com

http://ivorifaith.blogspot.com

http://sereandarwen.blogspot.com

http://quinnying.blogspot.com

http://www.kinggoon.sr/

http://forum.mmosite.com/board/2-185.html

http://www.bohemiantourist.com/

http://sl2rllove.blogspot.com/

http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/

Link to the original post:  http://community.secondlife.com/t5/General-Discussion/A-Proper-News-amp-Information-Site-for-Serious-Adult-Play/td-p/1480359

Related post link:  http://community.secondlife.com/t5/General-Discussion/Is-there-a-blogging-circle-I-can-add-my-blog-to/m-p/1324783

Where do YOU think the best place to talk about sex in Second Life is and why?

I asked this question on the official Second Life Forum (SLF), SLUniverse (SLU) and gotVirtual (gV) this week and probably about a year or more ago on RLetc.

This is the question in more detail.

"Where are the best places (blogs, forums, websites, sims, etc.) to talk about sex in Second Life among adults with a frank and open discussion and information that is updated and kept current? Topics might include prim genitalia, etiquette, how-to for newbies, fetishes, paraphilias, NSFW & XXX content, sex sims, sex products, etc. And why? (Why is that the best place?) The question came up in the "Finding Current Info on SL Sex" thread on SLF and I thought it might be interesting to get comments and referrals and maybe collect them into a helpful resource list. Thank you in advance and apologies for dupes."

I say it came up in that thread, and it did, but the truth is, I've been looking for a forum in which to have conversations with topics like the ones in this blog for about two years.  It has turned out to be a slightly more complex question that I had first thought it would be.

Anyway, here are some of the answers I received.

I'll start with the helpful, direct link type answers.

1. SLUniverse (SLU).  Multiple votes for this forum, some qualified.  There are restrictions on content and many people have complained about judgmental or joking responses, but you do have the advantage of a large group of tenured and knowledgeable Second Life residents who can answer many product and tech questions.
2. The "Let's Make Sexy Time!" Social Group on SLUniverse.  Eighty-seven threads, current content, some sex and a lot of humor and poking and joking around.
3. The "BDSM Interest group" Social Group on SLUniverse.  Three hundred seventy-four threads, current content, a lot of sex and helpful discussions about Second Life sex products and places.  More straight answers and acceptance and less joking and poking in this Social Group.  I would feel comfortable recommending this Social Group to people wanting a venue for discussing sex in Second Life.
4. gotVirtual (gv).  Multiple qualified votes for this forum.
5. The official Second Life forum (SLF).  Multiple votes with qualifiers.  This is the company's product forum, it includes teens and it is PG.  You can't use vulgar language like "fuck" and you cannot post nude or lewd pics.  You do have the advantage of a large group of tenured and knowledgeable Second Life residents who can answer many product and tech questions.  My observation has been that a person asking questions on SLF is likely to get inworld IMs offering help too.
6. BDSM forum inworld sim.  Multiple votes for this place.
7. Xcite!  Xcite! is a Second Life product site.  Good information specific to their product line.
8. Between two consenting adults.  Multiple votes.
9. A couple of people said they did not want to share what they had managed to learn on their own the hard way.
10. This blog right here.

It was in the "BDSM Interest group" Social Group that I found this helpful stickied thread about the rules on SLU regarding adult content.

Cristiano said on SLU...

"A reminder about NSFW images and thread titles"

"If the image contains nudity or is otherwise sexually explicit, it must not be posted inline with IMG tags or attached to the post. You must link to the image. Courtesy would also be to warn that the image is NSFW. If you are uncertain if an image is NSFW, err on the side of caution and assume it is."

"Please also be conscious of the content of your thread titles. While users do have the ability to ignore forums, and the group forums are viewable only by registered users, there is no ability to filter out forums on iSpy and the titles do appear some other places as well. Thank you for your cooperation with this policy. I try to provide as open of an environment as possible and I have nothing against the images or topics personally, but I do have the needs of the entire forum community, advertisers, and the policies of my ISP to keep in mind."

Nimue Jewell said on SLU...

"Keep in mind, even though the topics are adult in those subforums, you are not allowed to post naked SL or RL pictures."

I nabbed a couple of the more in-depth comments.

Ishtara Rothschild said on SFL...

"Actually, I think that is forum is a great place to talk about sex. It might seem counter-intuitive considering LL's PG rule and the relatively high level of moderation, but I've found that when it comes to adult topics, only posts with very explicit language are getting moderated. Which can be a boon rather than a bane, because it helps keep the discussion on a civilized level. We have discussed even the most controversial topics here in the past, such as age play, BDSM (including edgeplay), or zoophilia. This doesn't seem to be possible over at SLU, where people who disagree with the vocal majority (which is surprisingly conservative when it comes to sex; SLU is a place where gays and liberal atheists rage against aberrant forms of sexuality in a way that would make a Baptist preacher jealous) are met with vigorous personal attacks and the most hateful and rude language. That's exactly the kind of thing that gets deleted here, and this forum is a better place for it imho. At SLU, everything seems to be about moral outrage. A member of the in crowd starts a finger pointing thread (bruised skins and "Rape me" tattoos, OMG, how can LL allow this!) and everyone joins in the bashfest. That is not a discussion, it's a lynch mob in a feverish circle j***. Those who dare to disagree are torn to pieces and will be bullied in all future threads no matter what they post. I'd rather participate in a forum where I can speak my mind as long as I'm willing to self-censor a bit and use medical schoolbook terms or romanticized language rather than colloquialisms."

Knowl Paine said on SLF...

"The best place is with your partner(s). Second Life can be a journey, a path for discovery. I prefer to choose my own adventure. Sexual sophistication, is far from first on my list of ideal characteristics and traits of a desirable partner. The second best place to discuss functionality of a product or attachment is with the Creator or seller of the product. The Resident who made it, probably knows how the item works. A Group for helping Residents in the Region Kuula, has a public Show-n-Tell event, the content must be General maturity rating but a format like that for sex in SL would be beneficial."

squashy Beeswing said on SLF...

"You could dish out notecards periodically with how-to guides and best practice. "

Orfeu said on gV...

"I think of the forums, gv is prolly the best fit. We do have a slight habit of constant de-rails....rather than substantive discussion here...but one can hope. Other than that....your "Thats what she said" blog, also seems to fit the bill admirably."

Saffy Pants said on gV...

"I am not sure any of them are any use for talking about SL sex. The ones that allow it are populated by people who aren't interested and the ones populated by people who are interested don't allow it. The official forum is obviously the place because it has loads of newbies who would love some sex education but as you say it would be like sex education in school with the real stuff censored out. I did my share of sex in my early SL days but I never really found anyone who could understand the kind of atmosphere I needed to create. I havent tried anything for a long time but poseballs and devices did nothing for me with the exception of Devotion and I got worn out having to do all the talking."

Additional information.

1. Some pretty damn frank conversations about sex can be had in the Utherverse forums, but it is a company product site, so it's not really the right place for conversations that include Second Life or other virtual worlds.  Also, the Springerville and troll quotients are very high in that place.
2. There is a Gorean Forum specific to Second Life and it is active and current.
3. KingGoon Forums.
4. The Alphaville Herald has a 'Sex, Cybersex and Beyond' section
5. 2nd Sex.  It's a blog by Lillie Yifu.  Described as follows: "A blog on sex and virtual worlds by a virtual escort." Current content.  Not as much sex as you might think given the description and blog title.
6. The Sleaze King of Second Life.  A blog by Hard Rust, the creator of Hard Alley in Second Life.
7. Second Life porn star blogs.  Definitely adult content.
1. Emmanuelle Jameson's Second Life.  A blog by the avatar formerly known as "Jennnnna Jameson."  Lots of sex.  Lots of erotic Second Life sex pics. 
2. My Twisted Second Life: Diary of A Naughty TGirl.  A blog by Ivori Faith.  Sex from the second you click through the mature-content warning.
3. Serenity And Arwen PornStar Files.
4. Quinn Ying in Second Life.

Links:
http://community.secondlife.com
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/bd-p/lifestyles_relationships
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/Where-do-YOU-think-the-best-place-to-talk-about-sex-in-Second/td-p/1086709
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/Finding-Current-Info-on-SL-Sex/td-p/1081169
http://www.sluniverse.com
http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/lets-make-sexy-time/
http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/bdsm-interest-group/
http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/general-sl-discussion/64052-where-best-places-talk-second.html
http://gotvirtual.net
http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/where-are-the-best-places-to-talk-second-life-sex-mature-nsfw.2546/
http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/
http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/the-naughty-thread-pics-vids-etc-there-will-be-nudity.410/
http://www.getxcite.com/
http://forums.utherverse.com
http://goreanforums.net/
http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/Can_we_have_sex
http://sexsecond.blogspot.com
http://alphavilleherald.com/news/sex-cybersex-and-beyond
http://jennnnnajameson.blogspot.com
http://ivorifaith.blogspot.com
http://quinnying.blogspot.com
http://sereandarwen.blogspot.com
http://hardrust.blogspot.com
http://www.kinggoon.net/

Sex Questions on Second Life Forums (SLF)

It's just not the right place.

Aleesha Snow said...

"I'm looking into making a foray into the world of SL sex. Before I get involved, I have been noticing that there are so many options as far as body parts, HUDs, and many other things. Some things are stand alone, others need compatible items to work properly. It is all so confusing. I decided to search for information online. Unfortunately, after several hours, was unable to locate anything on the web that wasn't a number of years old and, apparently, no longer pertinent. I'm not sure I am in the right place to even ask this question. Can someone point me to a place where I can get up to date and accurate information on all of this?  Thank You  A~"

Aleesha Snow also said...

"Thanks Ariel, and thanks to all who replied. I really appreciate it. Reading all of your responses have helped but I think Ariel hit the nail on the head. There is just so much that it is hard to ask specific questions. The "genital Attachment" question was one for instance. I personally don't need one and sex for me is more cerebral than visual, yet I didn't know if guys would look at me as cheap or less desirable if I didn't have one. It is things like that. Its good to know that the older information can be relied upon today. I will look at it with a different eye. Guess I need to find my online mentor. Thank you all A~"

I said...

"Excellent questions.  I hope you think of more specific questions and get more and varied answers.  I will be interested to see them myself.

My sexual experience in Second Life leads me to believe that a nice skin and shape is all you really need.  Maybe a couple of non-n00b outfits, which are easy enough to get for free if you join designer merchant groups or follow tips from SL fashion blogs.

I'm a female both in SL and RL.  I was led to purchase prim genitalia my first week in SL.  I bought it, fussed about with it, abandoned it and never looked back.  No one has mentioned it since.  I don't miss it and neither do my sexual partners.  I think it is largely unnecessary.  People who purchase them and enjoy them can give you another point of view, but I guarantee you it is a "nice to have" luxury, if anything, and not a "need to have" necessity.

Beyond that I think it depends on your specific fetish or favorite flavor.  I'm loathe to go into further details here because I am keenly aware that the Second Life forums are PG and strictly moderated.  I would highly recommend that if you want an open discussion about sex in Second Life where you can get full and varied answers, that you take your question to one or more of the third-party SL-theme forums like SLUniverse (SLU), Second Citizen (SC MKII) or gotVirtual (gV).  There is a link to some of the third-party forums on the Second Life Wiki (http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/Discussion_forums#Third-party_forums).  Again, I highly recommend you check out an independent forum for a frank discussion of adult topics like sex in Second Life.

Lastly, I will tell you it is IMPOSSIBLE not to have sex as a female in Second Life, hell, even the guys can get laid.  I really don't know of anyone who can't get cyberlaid somehow someway in Second Life.  Sex is easily obtained.  The question is... what kind.  And that depends on more than prim genitalia.

 Anyway...  good luck to you and I hope you have lots and lots of naughty fun.  "

Links:
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/Finding-Current-Info-on-SL-Sex/td-p/1081169/page/3

Advice for the Lovelorn (Stormy Weather)

"Do you have questions about love, relationships, or sex?" on http://community.secondlife.com.

SilverMadison said:

"Second Life Public Access TV is proud to announce "Ask Thea!" our brand new advice show!
If you have questions about relationships, love, or sex feel free to email Thea at AskTheaDee@gmail.com
Your question may be answered on air and in front of our live studio audience.

Ask Thea! will premiere this fall on Second Life Public Access TV and will star the beautiful and feisty TheaDee!"

squashy Beeswing said:

"Well, i want to know what her credentials are first."

Sigmund Leominster said:

"For those who want a more non-directive, non-personal approach, I have a Rogerian AI bot and a replica of Freud's couch in-world, which you are more than welcome to talk to. My bot doesn't judge you, doesn't pretend to have answers, and often gives some quirky and bizarre responses. Howver, there are times when flashes of brilliance shine through and you can sneak a tiny peek into your subconscious. Just IM me and I'll send you a LM to my Therapy Platform in th Sky."

Storm said:

"This.

This.

This."

squashy Beeswing said:

"Storm, you need your own 2 hour 'special' with all that you've got going on."

valerie Inshan said:

"LOL, Storm is famous 24 hours a day. Full time job."

Links:
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/Do-you-have-questions-about-love-relationships-or-sex/td-p/1033019
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Wanted/Do-you-want-your-own-Second-life-TV-show/m-p/1035575
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/General-Discussions/How-do-I-make-her-love-me/m-p/498508/highlight/true#M242727
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/This-Man-s-Questions/m-p/825001/message-uid/825001#U825001
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/General-Discussions/Confessions-and-apologies-of-a-serial-SL-heartbreaker/m-p/492885/highlight/true#M239184

An Object Lesson in Bad Break-Ups

Here:  http://ladysakai.wordpress.com/2011/08/10/gtfo/  &  http://ladysakai.wordpress.com/2011/08/13/gtfo-part2-now-blackmail/

Are you really enjoying?

The bold opportunism of men amuses me.  No really.  I know this kind of behavior has the potential to annoy people, and rightly so, but it often makes me smile.

• Second Life
• Sex alt (mine)
• Hotel room on bed
• Having sex with a man
• Interrupted by IM from a second man

O & V Man (not the one on the bed) IMs me.


Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: omg, i wish to be him
Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: are you really enjoying now?




Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: well, you said, maybe one day
Opportunistic and voyeuristic man: why not today?


Hey.  Dude's a closer.  I can appreciate that.



Couple of notes:
1.  There are "private" rooms all over Second Life.  People still walk in, see that there is an intimate moment occurring between two avatars and plant themselves at the foot of the bed to watch.  If they had popcorn handy, I'm sure they'd munch it and drop crumbs on the bed.  And yes, sometimes, often even, they IM one or both of the people busy on the bed.
2.  People also cam in to watch.
3.  It's the internet.  Privacy is an illusion or a luxury... or something.
4.  Yes, it is extremely common to be interrupted by an IM from a man who is observing or has just observed you having sex, who knows you are busy, to try to cadge a lay or schedule an appointment for one...and they can be quite aggressive about it.
5.  Yes, men will employ a "yeah, but are you really into him, enjoying him, how much fun could he really be compared to me, etc." play to cockblock a guy and get the girl.  Happens in real life too.  You'll sometimes hear guys talking about gals in committed relationships (with a boyfriend) who aren't married who see those women as available and fair game.  "Hey, she's not married."

It's Not Me, It's You...

Was I being too subtle?  Sending mixed messages perhaps?

• Second Life
• Sex alt (mine)
• Rape (FSRP) sim
• RLV enabled
• Sitting in a chair

Guy activates the RLV, puts me on a poseball, rips off all my clothes and starts cyberfucking.

Guy initiates IM.


Guy: looks kinda sudden
Me: Says the man in control.
Guy: hehe
Guy: and what does the trapped girl like
Guy: forced sex?

(We're in a public forced sex sim and I'm wearing an RLV sitting next to poseballs that are all forced sex positions and acts.  But I suppose clarification and confirmation is good when you're talking about rape and ravishment fantasies.)

Me: You have me pinned down in a rape sim. I think it's about what you like.
Guy: i just came to see

(If I had $L for every time a guy said that to me...)

Guy: this sim
Me laughs.
Guy: reallyu not my type

(Alrighty then.  I'm all for cutting bait.)

Me: And now you've seen.

(I hop off the ball and get ready to TP out of there.)

Guy: yeah
Guy: really not my type

(I heard ya the first time.  I'm not your type.   I got it.  Sheesh.  I'm now back at my sandbox getting dressed.)

Guy: this sim i mean

(Oh suuuurrre.  Now you say that.)

And y'all wonder why I harp on and on about good, clear communication.



Links:
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/read-your-audience-play-to-room.html
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/wannafuckers-tissue-one-hour-stands-in.html

Confessions and apologies of a serial SL heartbreaker... (Jan-28-2011)

I stole this from Storm.  Always looking for the male perspective, ya know.

"Your world, your imagination! I say it over and over.

I am a serial heartbreaker.

I want to apologise to all the women (and some men) who I have hurt. You see, I got into this game called 'SecondLife' because it advertized itself as 'Your world. Your imagination.': the perfect RP game! Since I rezzed nearly one year ago, I have been meeting women and enjoying the game as my self-styled 'Casanova' character. Suave, debonair, witty, sexy, a manly man! I have been very successful, too. I have had a series of 'relationships' with women, in a couple instances, a few at a time, all of which have ended with me 'moving on'. Oh, there have been the requisite tears and sobbing from the women (and some men) but that was all part of the RP, or so I assumed. In fact, I feel fairly certain that one or two of my alts may be responsible for some of the anguish I have recently read in this forum.

If it is me that you are targeting with this pain, I deeply apologize. I know many of you are offended by this man's actions: I can't help myself, I am a Casanova, a heartbreaker - it's what I do. It's who I am. It's my world, my imagination.

As soon as I rezzed and got my bearings (i.e., a makeover) I began to express my imagination with the myriad of female avies who threw themselves at me. Oh, it was easy to meet you. Most of the time, you IM'ed me out of the blue, sometimes from several hundred meters away telling me how attractive I was and how you were lonely and did I want to dance. You all wanted a piece of Storm - and why not, I created the most hansome of avatars, I conversed in more than one sentence, and I was available. I told each of you I loved you - that each was the only one for me - I had sensuous, deep, fulfilling pixel sex with you. On the bright side, I did not charge you as an escort would - I did not regurgitate empty lines of love - I did love you - all of you.

You were very happy, too.

It was all part of the RP. I played the handsome Casanova willing to sweep you off your feet. And, why not? Your world. Your imagination. I know now (from reading a few OP's over the past few days) that many of you felt like I was 'the one', your SL dreamboat come true, the one who would be 'forever yours'. My RP skills are wonderful but, so are yours! Well, once or twice I nearly got caught posting my love message to the wrong IM when I was with you. If you do not remember that time, it is because I diverted you with romance, rezzed the TenderLove, and swept you off your feet. You enjoyed it! It was what you wanted and still do! I felt happy with you.

So, ladies (and some men,) it is time for you, too, to 'move on'. Now that you have expressed your grief and anguish publically in the forum, received many emotive responses, you must move on! Do not fret, I have kept a list of names and will not approach you with my alts as I now know that you were not engaged in RP with me.

Don't you all agree: Your world, your imagination? I thought I was playing SL the right way.

Enjoy!

PS Marked as a question because I ask one."

Links:
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/General-Discussions/Confessions-and-apologies-of-a-serial-SL-heartbreaker/m-p/492885/highlight/true#M239184

Moni's Men (Part II)

The next set of questions I would ask Moni if I were to continue the interview would be of no surprise to anyone what has read the "That's What She Said" blog or gV thread.  There's a wide variety of people and purposes in fantasyland and you have to qualify your prospects and set realistic and appropriate expectations.

So, Moni...

1.  How do you like your cybersex?  Pure text?  ParaRP?  Text and poseballs?  Poseballs and voice?  Second Life only or move to Skype voice and vid?  Exchange real-life pics and information?  Potential for real-life meeting?  Straight vanilla or kinky fetish fantasy?

2.  Are you age verified?  Are you gender verified?

3.  How do you like you relationships?  Second Life only or carryover to real life?  Visions of virtual weddings in your head or visions of real life romance?

4.  What do you do in Second Life?  Dance?  Hang out in 80s, blue or trance clubs?  Go to live music concerts?  Play cops and robbers?  Bloodlines?  Shoot stuff?  Build?  Design?  Sell?  Volunteer?  Take classes?  Human avatar or furry or vampire or demon or dolly or what?

5.  Do you speak any other languages (other than English)?  Are you open to other cultures and patient with people practicing English as their second language?

6.  Do you have an appealing profile that avoids the clichés and pitfalls of virtual worlds and online dating?  Does your profile indicate what you want?

7.  Do you use the SL tools of chat logs and note tabs effectively?

8.  Are you an immersionist or an augmentationist?  Are you an extrovert or introvert?  Which tribes are you associated with?

9.  How about the Bartle Test?  Are you an achiever, explorer, socializer or killer?  A friend, griefer, hacker, networker, opportunist, planner, politician or scientist?

10.  Who and what are you in Second Life and what do you do?

Links:
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/What-s-wrong-with-men/td-p/988201/highlight/false
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/08/whats-wrong-with-men.html
http://slcreativity.org/wiki/index.php?title=Augmentation_vs_Immersion
http://www.rletc.com/showthread.php?2554-Augmentationist-or-Immersionist
http://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/2008/02/self-and-second.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartle_Test
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/attached-committed-free-clear-or-in.html
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/fear-of-other-text-vs-voice.html
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/virtual-world-tribes.html
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/sales-cycle-of-cybersex-probing.html
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/sales-cycle-of-cybersex-opener.html
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/read-your-audience-play-to-room.html
http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/2011/06/pro-tip-little-black-books-profile.html
http://generalleehere.blogspot.com

What's Wrong With Men?

Moni Duettmann asks, "What's wrong with men?"

"I am close to celebrating my fifth SL birthday soon and I consider myself an open, intelligent, friendly and good-looking person (well, someone else should make that last statement, I know! :-)), but believe me: in all those 5 years I have never met a man who seriously had tried to seduce me. I'm not talking about weirdos jumping into the scene and offering instant f.... I mean decent, romantic, witty, nice, but determined approaches with a goal - to get me laid, or perhaps to start a relationship. Mostly men seem to be content with hearing (reading) themselves talk or, in the vast majority, they don't even try to talk to me, or tge conversations ends after 2 and a half sentences. When interested I always try to steer the conversation into the desired sweet sexy romantic direction, but the men don't seem to "get it". Are they too shy? Are they not interested? Am I not explicit enough (but where is romanticism)? I have been approached by women several times and out of curiosity and lack of men even started a few relationships. But still... I don't get it... Isn't SL the Eldorado for virtual sex? But where is it? Where are the lady killers?"

Well, ya know something like that would tempt a tl;dr style wall o'text from me.

Lee said:

"Fun post.  You got a lot of responses already and I had multiple responses pop into my head too just reading your OP.

First off, I see you say you want either sex or a relationship.  I think your first-mentioned goal, which appears to be a witty, adult, sexy, romantic, fun seduction for sex is a completely understandable one.  It's also a very, very tall, but not impossible order.

Your second-mentioned goal appears to be a witty, adult, sexy, romantic, fun seduction for a relationship.  Also a tall, but not impossible order, although this one is even more complicated.

So breaking it down:

Yes

Seduced for romantic sex

Seduced for relationship

Decent, romantic, witty, nice, confident, skilled, determined, assertive

Good listeners

Lady killers

Sometimes women

No

Wanna**bleep**er sex

Base down-and-dirty quickies

Weirdos

Transmit-only talkers

Shy, insecure, undecided, noncommital

A couple of the things you don't say, though vital to this discussion in a virtual environment is...

First off, what level of importance do you give to the real-life status of the men in Second Life?  I say this because in my experience, which is not some all-encompassing truth, many men in Second Life, particularly mature ones who have some game, have a real-life wife or girlfriend and a Second Life wife or girlfriend and a bunch of Second Life friends with benefits and places they go trawling for snacks and quickies or some combination thereof, and many of the men who are decent, romantic, witty, nice, confident, skilled, determined, assertive or some combination thereof, are often men with, at a minimum, a real-life wife.  So I don't know if the man's real-life relationship status is an issue for you or not.

Also, considering how very, very tall your order is, you don't really say a whole lot about what you are doing.  Where do you go?  Where are you looking?  What do you do?

I have met some men who were seductive, men who might have appealed to you.  Which is actually ironic, because I tend to go into Second Life for one of two things and in one of two mindsets.  1.  Wanna**bleep**er sex.  2.  Sexless fun with friends or on my own exploring.  I don't go into Second Life for wine and dine romance and potential relationships.  

That said, I do end up meeting seductive, charming men who want one or the other or both (romantic sex and romantic relationships) and try to slow me down and get my mind of a dirty quickie or off the exploration of another sim for a blog post.

Here's where I have met the seductive men who can hold a good conversation and make a move.

1.  Lar's Place.  It's a bar for older men and young women, but it got so popular (older men are like diamonds and catnip in SL) that younger men started going there because that's where all the women were.

2.  Third-party SL and virtual world forums like gV, SC MKII, SLU, RLetc, Utherforums, etc.  I've met some charming and articulate and funny men on forums and the friendship has carried over into SL inworld (and sometimes the real world).  

3.  Voice clubs.  (I know that one is sticky, because voice is controversial and not for everyone, but this is a list of where I have met men who are anywhere near like your description and this is where and how I met many of them.  I met one particularly charming man because he was telling stories and jokes in voice and I could hear him and "got him" and I  shot him some funny and appreciative IMs and the next thing I knew he'd swept me off my feet and we were ballroom dancing and I was swooning.)

4.  Introductions from friends.  I also return the favor.

5.  A furry bar.  (I was there as a curious human initially.  Total fish out of water, but open and curious.  I return because there are some nice and intelligent people there.  Many of the furry men I've met tend to favor a kind of old world solicitous affectation that can be quite charming.  My apologies to any furries who might be offended by that description.)

6.  One of the most charming men I've ever met in Second Life (dancing, conversation, dedictated a song to me, serenaded me) I met by accident when I wandered into a BDSM club in the middle of a mall.

7.  Sex sims.  Yeah, sometimes the charming and intelligent guys go there for quickies and you strike a conversation and then next thing you know you've been talking for two hours.

8.  Dance clubs.  Sweethearts Jazz, Bogarts, New York Ballroom, places like that. 

I have found that my own journey, if you will, in Second Life has been one of trial-and-error and distillation.  I know what I want and I am a student of how to get it and I'm pretty good at it now.  But it can be quite a bit of work.

I've actually posted and blogged a lot about my experience as a cybersexer in Second Life and the Utherverse.  If you're at all curious, check it out here:  http://whatleesaid.blogspot.com/.

After five years, I would think you either need to give it up (the two goals) or make some serious changes.  But then I guess that's why you started this thread.

Good luck.

And if some guy IMs you out of the blue and says he's a friend of Lee...say hello and be nice to him, will ya?   "

I actually have more to say on this subject.  No surprise there, eh?  But I'll say it later.  I will leave this teaser. I think Moni could benefit from the old sales cycle and maybe some color training too. 

Links:
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/What-s-wrong-with-men/td-p/988201/highlight/false
http://community.secondlife.com/t5/Lifestyles-and-Relationships/What-s-wrong-with-men/m-p/990189#M4844

ETA:

Moni Duettmann said:

"I have to thank everyone for many interesting and insightful answers. Although you don't know me, you have given me enough to think about for a good while. I understand that there is something in the content that has something to do with myself personally. Of course! But the phenomenon I am referring to rather has to do with the flirt approach of my fellow citizens in SL - I think... I don't understand some replies that draw a connection to RL. I am looking for flirts in SL, not RL. And of course all the specifications that count for anything else in SL, count for the romantic part too. I can separate RL and SL easily.

Maybe I have to explain. For me the Second Life experience gets much better with a romantic background. It makes me feel good all the time and makes me want to log in again. I love the playful side of it. How serious it can get depends on the person you do it with. I think RL should be full of love too, but we all know how reality is most of the time for most of the people. In SL romance should sort of be the base of the game, at least that's what I think and expect. Why refrain from it, when you can have it? I know how to spend my time, my life in SL isn't empty at all, I build and script and meet people for all kinds of common activities, but I miss a love that takes care of me. And that's why I often feel like a flower nobody wants to pick. I believe, if men knew what women really want, they would dare much more!"