Women Can Be Asshats Too

And under the category of women can be asshats too...

I'm wandering through a new-to-me public sim. Just exploring on my own. Using my Lee account. Not bothering a little clump of people some meters away from me. Admiring the Moorish architecture. Around the corner and upstairs from this group of people who clearly know each other and are in the middle of a conversation I'm paying little attention to in Local Chat.

Then someone I have never met or spoken to in my life shouts...

JD shouts: leehere come here

It's a bit difficult in text, isn't it? Voice tone can make all the difference, or as Ishtara points out, descriptive text. So can your own mood and temperament. In this case, it immediately raised my hackles.

I told her I wasn't a dog.

At least she had a sense of humor.


kM: but ladies i am not spy from there
kM: lol
kM: i am new to both places
JD: ok kM
JD: and trust me u cant find better people then us
iA: lee there is new too
LeeHere Absent: Yep
iA: so we will welcome her in a while
JD: ohhh where did she come from
JD: kM u come whwen there are lots of peple u will love this laggy place
iA: u can h t copy and pasted for future refrance
JD: lol
iA: yes we do privide group chat for fast tps and chats
JD: and if u get lost plz start the group chat
JD shouts: leehere come here
LeeHere Absent: Wow.
LeeHere Absent: I'm a human, not a puppy. ;p
JD: for everythign else there is master card
LeeHere Absent: Priceless.

Repost.  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-16#post-30515

Some feedback from my friend, Orfeu Miles:

Some pertinent points.

Never tried to pick up a chick at Franks/Bogarts etc etc....but have had many charming dates there....not all of which ended carnally. Sometimes Romance is its own buzz...sometimes the overture is better than the opera. ( I would cite Fidelio by Beethoven which has 4 overtures all better than the opera)

I very rarely ask the ASL question....I dont expect an honest answer so why ask the question ?

The only exceptions to this, are cues given, that this is an important deal to the avi I am speaking to. Perhaps they have read my profile...and get that I am the kind, who doesn't have a big wall up between 1st and 2nd lives...and they wanna explore that perspective for a while.

If a Female Avi's profile is full of "Dont talk to me in phone-text ( I never do)...Have a presentable Avi ( I always have, from day5)...Do this...dont do that...do this a lot...NEVER do that...then...um....I have you pegged as a Female Rainman/Entitlement Princess. This is a thin line we are walking here, and Douche-baggery is not gender specific.

My own totally subjective ...non-researched conclusion...is that sl is FULL of people with mental-health problems...this stirs my compassion...but not my desire to wanna get to know you better. 

Oh and Lee...you definitely have a different perspective from Lillie...its almost as though you actually LIKE people....even...gasps...Male People.

Repost.  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-16#post-30539

Just Another Day In The Adult Section of Second Life

Another old story. I thought about it during the conversation today about this thread and Lillie's blog. I teleported to Sweethearts Jazz (PG sim) in my regular Lee-account avatar (not the sex alt) fully and appropriately dressed and may have done so after changing and porting too quickly, I'm not really sure. I got a random IM from some guy I'd never met or seen before.

This Guy: ummmmmmm
This Guy: nice naked ass : )
Lee: Thanks. I think you can thank a slow rez for that.
This Guy: muwah
This Guy: hello

He sends me a Friend Request.

Lee: What's on your mind, This Guy? Ass?
Lee: Anything else?
This Guy: anything u like hun
Lee: Thanks for the friendship invite, but it seems a little premature.
This Guy: smacks ur ass .......
Lee: Watch it buster.
This Guy: fuck u bitch

*Wishing I had a Linden for every time...*

Lee: LOL Wow. Niiiice.
Lee: What do you do for an encore?
This Guy: come here i wanna fuck ur mouth
Lee: Well, that answers THAT question.
Lee: What a smooth seductor you are. How can I possibly resist such an off..demand?
This Guy: u can ask as im fucking ut mouth
Lee: LOL
Lee: Give it your best shot hon.
This Guy: gonna send u a tp
Lee: I'm trembling with anticipation.
Lee: You catch many birds with this net?
This Guy: and wanna catch u too
Lee: Good luck.
Lee: I'm not sure you meet the height requirement for this ride.
This Guy: you are talking alot bitch
Lee: Having trouble keeping up?
This Guy: fuck
This Guy: ur
This Guy: mouth
Lee: lol
Lee: I'll spot you the rest of the letters in the alphabet if you think it will help.
This Guy: looks u have tasty pussy baby
Lee: Good lord. How old are you? lol
Lee: I can port to an adult sim and see if you can land there.
This Guy: huh?
Lee: lol
Lee: Want me to slow down and explain?
This Guy: i want u go down to my hard cock
Lee: I'm sure you do.

And so on.

Yes, I know a conversation like that is going on in Second Life right now as I type this.
Yes, I know I prolonged that conversation.
Yes, I know I'm evil.


Repost. LeeHere Absent, Mar 3, 2011 http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-15#post-30494



Some more samples.


Da Man: Excuse me girl. Didn't mean to land on you.
Da Man: Although now that I see you, maybe landing on you wou;dnt be that bad an idea.
Da Man: Thought I saw you go up here
Da Man: Let's talk in IM, baby.
Da Man: Turn around for me.
Da Man: Show me what you got.
Da Man: Yeah, you'll do
Da Man: Get on your knees
Da Man grabs your arm, draigging you over, shoving you to the floor
Da Man: Show me you know how to work a cock
Da Man: Strip too. I want to see you naked
Da Man: Take your fucking clothes off, bitch
Da Man: Worship that cock like all little...


A Man: hi
A Man: i like your profile
A Man: come and dance with me
A Man: i am old and dirty like you are
A Man: You learned how to fuck an old man?
A Man: first of all, i want to smell your underwea4r
A Man: you wil be my dirty slet in future?
A Man: i am a rude man
A Man: sorry


Now in all fairness, sometimes that's ^^^ unsolicited bullshit from developmentally disabled dolts and sometimes that's accepted, encouraged, appreciated and appropriate behavior. Depends on where you are and what you want and what you've put out there yourself.

Perhaps one of the questions it raises is the possibility of complicity or responsibility on the part of the women who do encourage that kind of behavior through their acceptance of it.

Hey, to each his or her own fantasy.

Whatever floats your boat.


Repost.  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-16#post-30511




I actually get that kind of "conversation" a lot when I'm in Second Life on my sex-alt account, but then that's often, but not always, a product of where I go. Sometimes it's a product of who else is in Second Life and how they think they can use it.


Repost.  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-16#post-30508




Btw, on the subject of me having more than one account in Second Life: Got Game?

Slippery Slope

I followed some more of Lum's breadcrumbs (he sees LeeHere too, well hell, so do other people) and found this blog post from June 25, 2007 called "What if they gave an orgy, and nobody came? The open scandals of sex in the undercity," that is as relevant to this thread and sex in Second Life as anything written in 2007 about sex or Second Life is, which is to say, extremely relevant. It's written by Lillie Yifu on her Raise the Red Lantern blog which purports to be about the intimate side of Second Sex. We have a First and Second Life, why not a First and Second Sex Life?

(I notice that not only do Lillie and I share some similar perspectives on men and sex in Second Life, but we also share a near complete lack of patience in waiting for everything to rez before taking and posting pictures. Bless her. She also has, however, a penchant for outting people on her blog that I do not share. So be fair warned. She uses condemnations, pics [RL & SL], names, titles, profiles and descriptions of acts. Her last blog post is from December of 2009, so it may be safe to go back into the Adult and Mature waters.)


Edit p.s.:

I see she has another, more current, sex-in-Second Life blog called 2nd Sex that has a posting as recent as December 6, 2010. So if you are chumming the fuck waters of Second Life, beware the watchful stripper in a thong with the flashing camera.

Lum said: ↑

I've talked to Lillie a few times over the years. She's a very smart woman who for whatever reason has chosen an SL career that puts her on the fast track towards meeting some very dumb men, and it's shaded her view towards men in SL. On the other hand, if you read the chat transcripts she puts up, it's not without some justification.

I'm probably gonna go off on a bit of a tangent from your post (and thank you for that), but...

I've noticed, from my own prolific sexual behavior in Second Life, that sliding down that slippery slope to a jaded and uncharitable view of the opposite sex, or I suppose I should say "targeted" sex in order to include all sexual possibilities and preferences, is an occupational (as in "activity in which a person is engaged," not necessarily "professional") hazard. I like to think I do a pretty good job of keeping my perspective and my appreciation of men in general (as a heterosexual female), but the reality is, you can't spend a lot of time engaged in one particular activity and not expect it to have an effect on your personal hard-wiring and that particular activity, casual sex, really skews the sensory input down to something specific and visceral and unfairly unflattering to the larger group being considered. It's just the nature of the beast. I've made a personal choice to actively keep a guarded eye on my own attitudes and not let it completely pervert my thinking, so to speak. All groups of people have assholes and saints and some who are neither but just have their moments.

Lillie and I are both calling people out on their behaviors in our own ways, and while I do hear what you are saying about some justification (hell, I think my own transcripts show some justification, and I did observe her blogging about more serious issues like Adult activities on Mature land as well as public ageplay), I'm not as comfortable with the idea of posting people's full avatar names and pictures and profiles with the behaviors and chat. That's why most of the chat transcripts I post contain scrubbed names like Guy 1 and Guy 2. When I post a pic, I usually either get permission or I scrub the name and identifiers beyond the physical appearance, unless the physical appearance itself is just too much of an identifier.

I have a sex alt. I like the freedom of movement and the anonymity and the ability to experiment and play. I appreciate and respect that for others too. Although, with the two examples I specifically mentioned in Lillie's blog, I can see the value in an "outting" activism, but she's catching regular Joe Wannafuckers in her net with screen prints and such and that makes me twitch.

On the other hand, it did occur to me that someone included in her blog might actually benefit from a reader hitting them up for some casual, meaningless, wannafuck sex. Yeah, I do actually think that way; it's not just how I'm drawn. 

And then every once in a while I meet a man who seems to make a good challenge to the perceptions I'm forming.

Lum said: ↑

She does raise an important point, though, that comes up frequently, and that in SL, there is a line between meaningless, wannafuck sex (which Lillie, as a sometime dancer/escort specializes in) and imposing your will on the unwilling.

While you may enjoy random sex with strangers on your sex alt (or your main for that matter, I won't judge you save behind your back!), I strongly suspect you would have standards. You would expect your prospective partner to meet some minimum standard for physical appearance, ability to complete a sentence, basic creativity, willingness to acknowledge you might have desires of your own, what have you. Whereas the Joe Wannafuckers she chronicles desire none of those things - they show up in 50L avatars even though they clearly have spent time in SL, hop on a poseball, and expect the most beautiful avatar in the room to service them (and I use that verb intentionally). They see sex in SL not as a mutual exercise but as computer-assisted masturbation, primarily because they do not see others within SL as real, but as constructs within a computer game.

That's step 1 of the jacktard scale - step 2 is when you get to mindfuckers who try to get as much RL information as possible, as quickly as possible, because it's the closest thing that delivers the emotional wallop of rape within a virtual environment. And that, too, is entirely too common.

Often people will shoot you an IM that simply says, "ASL." A quick Google search will tell you that they are asking for your Age, Sex and Location, and to be clear, your real-life age, sex and location, or as one contributor to the Urban Dictionary helpfully adds, "What stupid people say on chats to learn who you are and where you live so they can come to your house with a chainsaw and kill you."

Lillie Yifu makes references to "ASLFers." I don't know what that is, though it has a meme-like quality running through her blog a la Prok's "FIC," and reminds me of Pep's frequent comments about "EFLers," but I would hazard a guess that it might refer to someone who immediately asks for your Age, Sex, Location and Fantasy or Fetish. Any other guesses? Perhaps Lum and Orfeu actually know and will enlighten us.

When I'm in Second Life on my Lee account, the answer to ASL is quick, real and simple (it's already on my profile anyway): 43, female, Seattle. (Although I think I have just put that I am in my 40s on my profile so I don't have to update the damn thing every time I have another birthday.)

When I'm in Second Life on my sex account, I sometimes give that question just a little more thought and a lot less simple reality, as the answer could be any number of things, including, but not limited to:

a) None of your damn business.
b) If that is important to you, then we are probably not a good play-date match.
c) Whatever I want it to be, female and Fantasyland or perhaps a slight variation...
d) Over 21, female and right here in Second Life... and to entertain myself with a bit of slutty-sounding sarcasm veiled as a coy come on...
e) What do you want it to be, baby?

My observation is that most of the people who ask ASL expect a real First Life answer and that most people who answer it are giving fantasy Second Life answers. It's an interesting disconnect. (Note that I specifically said "most" and not "all" and that I am qualifying it as my personal observation.)

Sometimes I feel I am being incredibly honest and forthcoming when I reply, "over 21, female and right here in Second Life," as indeed, I am, and on more than one level, but the response I usually get is, "Ha, ha, ha."

colleen Criss said: ↑

I say that too as a rule because they are actually asking colleen Criss ASL , well shes 3 ...shes fem and shes from SL. Past that I have no info I wish to give them. If they don't like that answer *shrugs*

You go, girl. And thank you for adding the Second Life rez-date age. An excellent cover of my egregious omission.

1+
Female
Second Life

Repost. LeeHere Absent, Mar 3, 2011 http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-13#post-30293  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-13#post-30325  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-14#post-30341  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-14#post-30423