Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Read Your Audience & Play to The Room

So here's another virtual cold shower.

Maybe you are a woman in a bukkake sim and you have a separate account for this very purpose and the profile for it is filled with bukakke groups and bukkake pics and picks and much lauding of the joys of bukkake. Maybe you are into bloodlines and you are wearing a vampire avatar complete with fangs standing in a gothic sim with a warning about how you might bite in the title floating over your head. Maybe you are into romance and dancing and walking on the beach and long conversations and longer relationships. Fantastic. You go, girl.

But if a man approaches your account of choice in your sim of choice and says he wants to get it on with your bad hot self, but he is not into bukakke, bloodlines or beaches, c'mon, admit it, it sucks the joyfully erotic anticipatory air out of the room in a real hurry doesn't it?

Repost.  LeeHere Absent, Feb 13, 2011    http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/#post-23454

❑ Reading someone's profile before talking to them so you have a basis for a conversation starter? Good.

❑ Squandering that excellent effort by only using it to reconfirm everything you just read? Bad.

For example, if the profile says the person likes books, movies, cats, gourmet Jelly Belly jelly beans and singing with wild abandon in the shower, then you should not ask her in IM if she likes books, movies, cats, jelly beans and singing. You know that already and it will make you come across as an inept census taker with short-term memory-loss-induced insecurity rather than an exciting potential partner. Besides, how else is she to respond other than, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Are you done? Great, then get lost,"?

Try asking second-level questions as part of your probe. What kind of books and movies? What flavor of jelly bean? Hell, if you are in a "Fuck Me Now" sim you could IM her about doing something else with wild abandon in the shower. At least it shows you not only read the profile, but have the mental wherewithal to process what you read and do something with it. People talk about the mind being the most important sex organ....so use it.

Repost. LeeHere Absent, Feb 20, 2011   http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-8#post-25218

So my (Lee) profile says I'm in my 40s, I do voice and I was a member of the Cougar Lounge. This guy found me through groups and profile perving.

Guy1: Hi
Guy1: You voice?
Lee: Yep
Guy1: your in your 40s?
Lee: Yep
Guy1: you are a cougar?
Lee: You going to confirm everything in my profile with me? ;p
Guy1: haha sorry
Guy1: i'm 25
Guy1: i like older women
Lee: I picked up on that. ; )
Guy1: i find them so much more mature
Lee: I can imagine. It's similar with men. ; )
Guy1: well ive alwsy been very mature
Lee: lol I'm sure.
Guy1: i dont fit in with my age
Guy1: maybe we could go out sometime
Lee: Uh, maybe. After you get your SL sealegs. 
(His SL birthdate is 01/30/2010. It's 02/03/10.)
Guy1: well lol this is an alt
Lee: Of course. ; )
Guy1: would you go out with my other one?
Lee: I don't really know either of them, or you.
Guy1: oh ok
Guy1: well i hope i can know you better

Guy1 logs off. Guy2 logs on and IMs me. In the space of less than 15 minutes. I don't recognize the name. Don't know him. His SL birthdate is 01/10/2010. HUGE difference, right?

Guy2: Hi
Lee: Hi
Guy2: How are you?
Lee: Good thanks, you?
Guy2: Good. I'm Guy1.
Guy 2: Do you voice?
Guy 2: Your in your 40s?
Lee: Are we seriously going to do this again? And is this your alt with the SL sea legs?
Guy2: haha sorry
Guy2: No. I have another alt. But would you date this one?

No lie. This continues and goes downhill from here. My usual sense of humor rears its head. (I know, I can be bad. Someone can start a thread about it, okay?) At any rate, at one point I call him "kid" and suggest maybe this is not a match and that we part company (we still haven't met, this is random IMing.) He has told me he is from Washington and now lives in Canada. He tells me Canadians are super polite and well-mannered. He calls me Jane from Frasier. He then proceeds to call me "old bag."

Lee: Wow. "Old bag." Nice. Great game you got there, kid. Great seduction technique. And that's my cue to leave. Goodbye.
Guy2: Wait! I'm sorry. That was my Canadian attempt at sarcasm. 
Lee: I can't wait to tell my Canadian friends that. I think they'd be appalled to have that described as Canadian sarcasm.

Repost.  LeeHere Absent, Feb 20, 2011  http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-8#post-25220

A lot of people like to tell you that they are intelligent and mature. It's actually better to let people discover these qualities in you. Most intelligent and mature people know that, so if you tell them, then they've learned something about you that you didn't want them to know.

It's the same principle with regards to how funny, kind or tough you are.

Repost.  LeeHere Absent, Feb 20, 2011 http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-8#post-25223

I actually reversed the process one day with a guy whose profile I had stumbled across while looking at groups. I actually read the whole profile, every tab, (See? I like to be prepared on my approach.) and noticed a wild boast about being an incredibly fast thinker and typist and possibly one of the fastest typists in SL and stuff like that. A lot of hyperbole about his chat skills, practically daring the reader to try to keep up. It was a challenge I couldn't pass up.

Mixing my metaphors for a moment here... I wound up my pitch, threw some fastballs and curveballs and just strafed the hell out of him in a blind IM. (Hey, he said he could think and type fast.) He was a REALLY good sport about it. I called him out on the boast and he went with it. After he regained his balance he was quite charming and gracious and we got a conversation out of it. And while not the fastest typist in SL, he was smart and funny and pretty even-keeled. Nice guy.

Repost. LeeHere Absent, Feb 20, 2011 http://gotvirtual.net/community/threads/thats-what-she-said.772/page-8#post-25231

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